Running Super food

I am sure FraidyKat has posted this before but seriously, a pre-run banana is a wonderful thing.

I just had an awesome 5 miler!
I must try the same formula because it really worked - first start with a light meal 1 to 1 1/2 hours before the run (about 300 calories light), then eat one banana with 4 capsules of reflex thermofusion about 1/2 hour before the run.
Finally, find a banging running sound track and a beautiful setting to run in...
Result: Awesome run

When road running the best you can look forward to for interest is the odd roadkill pheasant and perhaps a toot from a passing van, but if you get off the road you can find some fantastic scenery.
Today I ran along the Grand Union Canal, saying hello to passing narrowboaters and watching a Heron fly from the path and skim across the water. Much better than road running.

Of course there is the question of what lurks beneath the surface of the water. Today it was calm, too calm, and the fog had not lifted all day. At first I thought perhaps Nessie was coming south for winter but now I wonder if we have not become part of the territory of a water dragon. If we have there is nothing to fear, they feast on fish. Perhaps if I'm lucky I'll see it, but they hide in the mist and the fog, and you have to be really quiet...

FraidyKat Runs - on bananas

Groin Strain and the Curse of Success

These are the two things on my mind right now. Unconnected, I think, but equally present.

The groin strain in the unpleasant presence in my life, striking after what should have been an easy 2.5miler but reduced me to a pained grimace for the rest of the day.
Today it seems to have eased to a low grade ache but I suspect it will return with vengence if I try anything so stupid as moving today.
Yesterday it was a sharp and persistant pain right at the top of the thigh moving from ouch to #$/#@! When I twisted the wrong way. It can be caused by many things but in my case I believe it to be a muscle weakness at the hip (old war wound) so now I must remember all those strengthening exercises, the ones on all fours that look like aerobics meets the kama sutra - donkey kicks, fire hydrants, adductor stretches.
New resolution, hip strengthening every day - or forget the running and say hello to everyday pain, not much choice really.

The curse of success?
Say hello to a Defence Lab student of the year! Woohoo! Awesome. I think my instructor took leave of his senses with that decision but I am serious chuffed, I've never got something like that before.
But, of course, there is a downside.
Everyone knows it's me, they might wonder why I got it and not them and I can't help but feel like it puts eyes on me. 'No pressure but you're now officially the teacher's pet' - FraidyKat makes a hopeless pet, too high maintenance and heavy on furnishings.
It's a point of pride that I always tried my hardest anyway but now I have to pull even more out of the bag just to keep up.

Back in my dubious reality, yesterday's run along the canal hinted at something sinister in the works, and unexplained ripple in the water. Unless Nessie has migrated from the Loch there may be something nasty lurking under the surface.

FraidyKat Runs - from recogition

Noticing Weight Loss

It's been a long time since my last post, sorry, life has been a bit crazier than usual.
Anyway, weight loss...

It's a weird thing to be ticking down the numbers on the scale and not really appreciating the change.
I've had friends and family telling me how slim I look but that's just their opinion.
There is a massive bin bag full of clothes to get rid of because they are too big but that's just stuff.
My runs have got quicker by a full minute a mile but that could be purely down to training.

Then FraidyKat and dear partner got an amazing opportunity to go to the first DefenceLab World Conference - thanks to her amazing instructor.
That was just awesome, the chance to train with some incredible martial artists.
But here's where it hit home: The conference had a formal dinner and award ceremony in the evening and due to the weight loss I HAD NOTHING TO WEAR!!! Disaster! I dug into the dark and dangerous recesses of the wardrobe, fighting witches and befriending lions on the way, and in desperation tried on a dress that hadn't fitted in 15years. IT FITS! Miracle of miracles, it was like finding a Wish Spell in a charity shop bargain box.
All good. After a day training we glammed up and headed to the bar. On the way there I popped in to the Ladies room and spotted a lady with fab green dreads and an hourglass figure in a hugging black dress. I was instantly jealous,  then I was confused, I was looking in the mirror!
How had I not noticed it before? Okay, the dreads are only a few days old (they match the club colours if you're wondering why green) but how did I not notice the body swap? All this time my brain has been doing some stealth photoshop to my detriment.
11months ago I was 106kg, today I tip the scales at 79kg - in old money that's nearly 4 1/2 stone gone. That's a massive shock. FraidyKat has produced 27 Adipose babies and not noticed any of them escaping out of the window.

Now dear partner is laughing (and FraidyKat will soon be guilty of hubby bashing) at my total ignorance of the gradual change of my body. The words "I told you so" are on his lips.
It turns out that losing the weight is only half of the battle, stopping your brain from sabotaging your achievements with nonrecogition is the war winner.

The Adiposian First Family are back harvesting Earth for children. They are major shareholders in virtually every big selling diet brand and fast food company, using their influence to prevent us from ever rendering them infertile.
The conspiracy is so plain to see and we are seemingly helpless against them.

FraidyKat Runs - for the hourglass

Normal Service is resumed - Today, the limitations of BMI

Normal service is being resumed. It's a bit like British Rail with leaves on the line and a replacement bus service, but FraidyKat is back to normal.

This time the topic is BODPOD and BMI.

As I previously said, I discovered the BODPOD and promptly got myself booked in. I was lucky, they only let members of the public use it for one afternoon a month and it's booked up for months. It's a wonderfully simple concept, you get into a small chamber - the POD - and it uses air displacement to measure your body composition. Combined with highly accurate medical scales the BODPOD can give you an accurate picture of your body make up that's second only to a water displacement test or a full body MRI. Since I don't know where I can get the water displacement done and there's no way I can afford a full body MRI, the BODPOD was the next best thing.
I wanted to know how accurate my home scales are and what I should really be aiming for when it comes to my goal weight.

So on Friday off I toddled to Coventry Hospital to get measured. The nurses were super friendly and helpful and the process completely painless.
I had to put on a swimming costume and I was given a super sexy (!) swimming cap. My height and weight were measured and then I stepped into an egg:



See, egg.
I had to sit still for a minute (blissful, as anyone with two little chargers in the home will understand), then they opened it up again and checked I was okay before doing it again.
That done, I got changed and by the time I was again dressed the results were in.

Now before you pass judgement on FraidyKat , please note that I have been trying really hard this year and I have managed to lose 23kg so far - I'd call it baby weight, but let's honest, there were a lot of chocolate bars and chips there too - and I plan on losing a lot more before I am done.

So, the results:
FraidyKat weighs 83.3kg  
Of that 30.3kg is fat and 53kg is lean mass (the rest).
So I am 36.4% fat  

According to the sheet they gave me that puts me in the Excess Fat category (31-40%), but thankfully clear of Risky.
For the record the categories for women are:
Risky (high body fat) - >40%     Needs to lose fat (obese)
Excess Fat - 31-40%                   Excess, could lose but not dangerous
Moderately Lean - 23-30%         Generally health
Lean - 19-22%                            Generally considered excellent for health
Ultra Lean - 15-18%                   Elite Athlete Level
Risky (low body fat) - <15%      Under weight, not healthy
(For men, subtract 10% from each category)

Oh how I want to be Lean.
Lots of numbers here to process but please bear with me while I tell you how this makes a mockery of BMI...

At present, at 83.3kg, my BMI is 28.8 (it was 36.6 last December).
To be healthy my BMI should be between 18.5 and 25. At minimum that means I have to lose 10.8kg, at maximum I can lose 29.8kg.
Hang on a second, from the BODPOD I know that mt fat % equates to 30kg. I would have to lose 8kg of lean mass to be healthy at the bottom of the "Healthy" BMI range.











At the highest healthy BMI of 25 my weight should be 72.5. Assumed I only lost fat (a big ask but I am trying to go slow and steady while working out so theoretically possible), I would end up somewhere around 27% fat, perfectly healthy.

You have to remember that for my height, the supposedly healthy BMI range is 19kg (2st 13lb in Church of England), 53.5-72.5kg, that's the same as a fully packed holiday suitcase!


In short:
Healthy by BMI: 53.5-72.5kg
Healthy by Fat %: 62.35-75.7kg (assuming lean mass is all retained)

That's 9kg (1st 6lb) difference in my minimum healthy weight and yet BMI is so often seen as the be all and end all of health equations.


When did we all stop being people and start being statistics?
I'm hardly a body builder and my build isn't massively different to  everyone elses and yet there's so much inbuilt inaccuracy in a method of measuring health that so many people see as gospel it's eye watering.


FraidyKat Runs - From BMI

So hard to be selfish with the world going mad (sorry for the politics)

Here I was feeling really proud of myself, I realised today that I have lost pretty much exactly 3.5stone this year (wow, take that baby weight!), then I flicked over to the news and saw how mad things are getting in the world. Celebrating losing some of the weight I have gained after years of eating junk pales in comparison to the things people are dealing with around the world.






This whole business with ISIS for a start - what exactly is going on? A so called religious group using any excuse to abuse, rape, torture and murder innocents.
They say they are religious fundamentalists who want to create some sort of Islamic paradise and it's what God wants. If they really believe that, why do they hide their faces in all of those disgusting videos and photos they love putting online? Is it so they don't have to look at their own faces and see what they are really doing?
News flash - genocide is nothing to do with religion, it's a brutal, self serving, sadistic hedonism of the worst kind and no Paradise will open it's doors to a person like that.
 And to anyone thinking of travelling out to join them: Are you really that naive? Do you really think it has anything to do with any more than making money? It's not about principles, paradise or the words of an ancient prophet - IT'S ABOUT GREED - Greed for land, for power, for oil. Look at the places being attacked, they are countries that have resources or are near to them but that are, for many reasons, susceptible to attack. When the dust settles you can bet your soul to any God that the leaders of that abhorrence will forget their pious words and promises to live just exactly the sort of lives they preach are evil - so many sins, so little time






Then we head north to the Crimea and the mess that is the former Soviet Union.
How many people have died over the centuries fighting over the Crimea? How many more will now die because those with the power have not learned from history?
Are there really that many Ukrainians who really want to become Russians? Why now, after all these years has it suddenly flared up? I look at the news reports and see only people too young to have any memory of what life in the Soviet Union was like, people living off dreams and idealisms.
Of course there's also Russia's answer to action man feeding fire, President Putin. He dreams of the glorious old days, of rebuilding the empire with himself at the top of the pile but this time there is no pretence of communistic equality. Greed and power, again, seducing the younger generations with dreams of a history that never was and a glorious future that will never be. Worse, the fever is spreading to more of the old countries.
And in the midst of it all, Putin fluffs is feathers declaring his self importance and invincibility (more dreams I'm sorry to say, Mr Putin) while all I can think of is the Third Reich annexing the Sudetenland and how for years all the other European countries did was impose sanctions. Remember how that turned out?




On to another continent and Ebola has Africans so terrified they abandon their relatives in the street, while massive cultural misunderstanding has those infected fleeing the very hospitals trying to help them.
For the rest of the world it's time to batten down the hatches and wait for it to pass, except we can't. Step aside from the obvious ethical dilemmas and there is the practicality. How do you stop the spread of this terrible illness when global travel could have someone spread their infection to every continent on the world before even knowing that they are infected?
It's in all of our interests to both quarantine the effected regions and do our very best to help them.




And then, closest to home and linked in so many ways to everything else going on in the world, there is the ferry that was stormed in Calais by immigrants desperate to get to the UK.
For anyone with any thoughts of coming here - we are not so far from imploding ourselves. Yes, the benefits system is massively abused but rest assured that is changing. Socialist politics is all the rage, Scotland has an imminent vote on independence and the last time I checked our streets were potted holed tarmac, not gold.
The French are shouting about how they are tired of acting as our immigration officials, how people in Calais are tired of putting up with the mess and danger of the illegal immigrants who risk life and limb for a shot at the dream, but it is quite clear this mass influx of people wanting to get out of France and in to Britain are themselves not French, so where were the French immigration officials when their borders were crossed?

I can't pretend to have the answers, I'm not that smart and I won't pretend to be, but their are certain things I can't ignore, so here is my humble plan for the future:

• I will lose more weight. This not as selfish as it at first seems, it allows me to do more to help others in the following ways -
• I will become an egg donor. It has been on my mind for some time, family is so important and it is a terrible shame for people to desperate want children and not to have them. So for those who can't adopt (for any of the frivolous reasons local authorities shamefully put in their way) I will give the gift of a chance.
• I will become a Reserve in the Armed Forces while I am still young enough to do it. It is risky but it is so worthwhile.

The selfishness of my imagined world of magic and monsters is not going to cut it today. There are too many monsters in the real world and too little magic. If nothing else is achieved today, I hope a tiny piece of magic filters back into the real world, a tiny miracle, no matter how mundane that makes our world better.


FraidyKat Runs - to be a better human being

The Pain! (A review of Regiment Fitness)

Yes, I know, I tried out Regiment Fitness on Saturday and here it is Tuesday and I'm only just telling you how it went. Sorry, I've been too busy feeling sorry for myself.

So, Regiment Fitness...
Bright and early (ish) I turned up at the local park and, after leaving dear partner and the chaos daemons at the playground, made my way to the liveried van and waiting instructor.
He was friendly, professional and encouarging from the onset. There were only three of us there, the class only kicked off a few weeks ago so it's no surprise, but if there is any justice it will soon become a rather larger group because, oh boy, is it hardcore.
Don't get me wrong, for each exercise there is an easy and a hard option and for the running parts a short and long distance, you make it as hard as you like. Unfortunately, I forgot that it's been several years since I did any weightlifting and I may have overdone the squats just slightly - FraidyKat has spent the last three days swearing at stairs because going down has been agony, the nano-gremlins and pain pixies have been partying in my quads since Saturday afternoon.
Despite the pain I shall definitely been going back this week, it was the right sort of pain, muscle exhaustion not injury and it was totally my fault for not stepping it down when I should have.
 And now I'm trying to justify the monthly cost of the classes. It's actually a really good deal, less than a gym membership for unlimited classes where ever you want to take them, I'm only hesitant because I'm already paying for Defence Lab and pennies are tight in FraidyKat's house.

Conclusion: If you have any thoughts of trying a military bootcamp class (and even if you don't), go to Groupon and get the voucher for 5 really cheap sessions. It was great fun and I can't wait until Saturday to torture myself again under the watchful tuition of a strapping military veteran - supporting our returned heroes and getting fit in the great outdoors is a great combination.



Elsewhere in FraidyKat's universe  it's harvest time. Round 1 of the fruit harvest, Damsons and Plums. I love having fruit trees in the garden, it's free food. You do nothing all year and then suddenly there's the frantic harvest to get hold of nature's sweeties. Yum.
We were a bit too late for the Plums :-(, they should have been picked as soon as we got back from Scotland but the time was just not there and the Wasps got to them first. We only salvaged half a dozen plums from the tree.
 The Damsons were a different story. Seven jars of jam, two bottles of gin and two gallons of wine. There would have been more but we were caught short of sugar and yeast and the remains are spoiling, so it's going in the composter for the vegetable garden.
Next will be the apple trees, mmm cider, and pear trees (all for dear partner, FraidyKat doesn't do pears, ickky).

I bring up the fruit harvest because I have returned to thinking about my diet and nutrition.
Last week I had my pre-op assessment and tests so I am expecting to go in for my gallbladder operation in the next couple of weeks (fingers crossed). This brings with it tantalising promise of freedom from the low fat purgatory I have found myself in, but I must not fall into the trap so many other people do and gain weight post-op. Freedom to eat the foods so long forbidden is a powerful draw, I just hope that fat loss is a bigger draw and I am able to just tweak the diet rather than abandon it.



We seem to be experiencing an explosion in the rabbit population at the moment, what is feeding this? Is it the windfall apples? They have been battling the wasps for the honour.
It's a battle to see who wins the rights to the garden.
The mice have already lost the battle, our Mogs has seen to that, last night we received one and a half mice as a gift - it's always the half that's hard, have you just missed the other half? Are you just about to tread on it?
But there's a new contender in the vicinity, a heavy weight that even Mogs won't dare challenge. There's a new Badger Set at the bottom of the paddock. The real bosses of the rural lands have arrived and they're just toying with the rabbits, letting them think they're in charge while it's convenient, or maybe they just fancy apples right now.


FraidyKat runs - with pain

First an apology

Sorry!
It's been a very long time since I last posted.
I could wax lyrical about the zombie appocalypse afflicting my home, the hazmat quarantine preventing any movment in or out, the volcano in the garden spewing forth posionous toxins, the alien abduction or even the sleeping sickness, but truth is I've been rather distracted by life (how rude of it to get in the way of a perfectly good fictional alternative reality).

But I am now back and hopefully I will be getting better at this typing malarcy with a fresh start.

This was one of my discractions. The river Tay, at the bottom of Loch Tay. It made for a very picturesque holiday and it included spotting birds of prey outside our lodge, watching fishing boats head out to sea, driving into a mountain (no not crashing, literally driving into a mountain, Cruachan Power Station, also called the Hollow Mountain) and Deer spotting - sorry dearest partner, FraidyKat saw the deer, partner was very miffed to miss them all.
The ten hour journey to get there was horrible (although I must praise the patience of the little chaos daemons) and I wussed out of running with the hills being way too steep, but with modest walking and sticking to sensible(ish) eating I managed to gain no weight.
Given my usual form when on holiday, to return no heavier than I left is a major achievement and one to be very proud of.


To be less proud of is the abandonment of my exercise programme. I have really let it go to pot. What with injury (shin splints and big toe pain) and illness (gallbladder again) it's been all but impossible to keep up with the schedule so I am running only a few miles at a time, still, grumble.
I am managing an average of 2 Defence Lab sessions a week and I am trying to build up to 3 runs a week (2 short, 1 long).
Thanks to a Groupon offer I will be trying some sessions with Regiment Fitness at a local park (military bootcamp style that's now so popular). I need to work on my strength to get through the ToughMudder - 72 days to go! - and resistance exercise seems to be the way to go.
I'm doing the session on Saturday, I'll let you know how it goes.


The weight loss is going in fits and starts. Now most of the pre-chaos agents clothing fits (at last, yippee!) but the skinny day clothing is still out of reach and my goal weight is a distant dream.
I will get there, I just have to put down the cake and back away slowly.



Meanwhile, in the land of FraidyKat, sweets and cookies are good for you, no one has to go to slimming clubs and there's no such thing as VAT! But even in this idillic place there are problems.
The cute bunny rabbits in the garden are actually cyborgs, kitted out with the latest spy gadgetry. I don't yet know what they want but I'm wondering if their appearance at the same time as the bats is related. What are they looking for? FraidyKat doesn't have anything valuable - okay, there might be a treasure hoard in the shed but that come complete with a very tetchy dragon, good luck to anyone who tries going for that!


FraidyKat runs - Away from cake
83.9

Mmm gel pads

My knuckle salvation has this been gel wraps,  soft gloves with a wonderful gel layer over the knuckles. Mine are some old Everlast gloves that I used to use for kickboxing many years ago. They are frayed, the stitching is coming apart but they are such sweet relief for bruised knuckles that I  really don't want to replace them.
I should be training tonight, and I would  be if my instructors, along with a few other insane Defence Labbers, had not decided to do a run for charity. Other people run a marathon, these guys think that's too simple. They running the Grim Reaper. It's a variable length run of 40, 70, or 100 miles. Yes 100 MILES. Most of them are running 40 miles but FraidyKat's instructor is running the full 100 miles.
Go Stuart!!! And go crazy Defence Labers!

While I expect they will be far too exhausted to think of doing much on Sunday, FraidyKat and the Chaos club (aka The Family)  will be going to Snetterton to watch the British Touring Car Championship. Yippee! Loud cars go brrmm!
So a short blog today so I can go back to packing for the weekend - it's a bit of a military operation to get this household moving. Who knew daemons don't travel light?

Last night was a blissful quiet night. Perhaps it was the cooler weather, or perhaps one of the Gods of family finally took pity on me and cast a sleep spell on the little chaos agents.
I can only pray for further intervention tonight. If I have done something to please the Gods I will try to replicate it - are they anti carb?
Do deities venerate Atkins? Perhaps the Doctor has a special VIP room in Valhalla and helps major players like Thor and Freya keep their perfect physiques.
Or perhaps I am skirting vengeful lightning bolts.

FraidyKat Runs - from Lightning

How not to hit

Yep, FraidyKat learned a punch last night called an Over. Either named because it comes from over your head or because at some point you will need to get over the fact you have just destroyed your knuckles.
When landed properly the Over is a seriously strong technique and it sounds great against a pad, but it's a nontraditional technique and it takes some getting used to - hence the lovely colour of my knuckles right now.
Lessoned learned. Jarred wrist avoided, bruised knuckles not so. Now FraidyKat just looks like she has been in a fight with questionable success.

On a more positive note, my weight might not have changed (or it might have, scale inaccuracy is something that's really messing with my head - as previously posted) but I put on a pair of my old skinnier days jeans and rhey actually fitted. Two weeks ago the same jeans yielded theuffin top from hell. Has FraidyKat gained some muscle recently?

Here's hoping.

My little cat is currently on high alert at the window. She is not going outside though, perhaps the ninja elephants are out there taunting her, otherwise she would already be in the field torturing tiny rodents.

One can only wonder quite what my poor Mogs did to earn the eternal emnity of the highly trained invisible pacaderm killers, but it must have been something spectacular.

FraidyKat Runs - to avoid hitting

Following the plan & having incentive

As promised, here is my diet plan:

My supplements column is a bit lacklustre but I can't have anything more exotic yet thanks to my darling littlest.
I don't really like combining low fat and low carb, it doesn't seem particularly sustainable, but again the low fat is non-negotiable and I onlywant to give my body a little kick. I haven't done much weight loss in the last few weeks so a little shake up is called for.

Darling partner has it better, I'd like to be following his plan. He's having Reflex One Stop twice a day - after a lot of searching this turned out to be the only supplement that combined everything he needs without taking loads of pills every day. It's perfect for helping him get lean and gain muscle at the same time. It's higher in carbs than is ideal but then again he's working out most days and carbs are hardly the enemy when they're being utilised (only unused carbs become fat, if you can burn off that large portion of chips then there's no guilt attached the eating them).
He also gets Cauliflower cheese (yummy) when I have to make do with a vegetable stirfry and he gets cream with his sugar free jelly when I have fat free yoghurt. Oh how I miss fat...


Hopefully, in a week's time I will have lost some weight and then I will be able to assess just how doable this fusion diet is when I am exercising six days a week as well - we'll see if I can exist on so little carbs or whether I have to add some more in to keep me going.


In other news, FraidyKat has gained extra incentive to lose fat in the form of the BODPOD. I discovered it recently, it's a small pod you sit in and it uses air displacement to measure your body composition. Supposedly, the only more accurate way to measure body composition (other than a detailed MRI) is water displacement, but unless you're a professional athlete or a researcher's guinea pig you're not likely to get that done.
In fact, you're not likely to get to use the BODPOD unless you happen to live near one of the few in the UK or US (they're the only ones I've found anywaybut perhaps someone elese where can correct me)
As someone who's never been anywhere near skinny, the idea of an accurate and unbiased report on my body composition is a scary one - I can't exactly leave one leg out of the pod! - but it's one of those ways to be honest with myself and not hide behind excuses.
Lucky me, I live near enough to the University Hospital in Coventry to get one of their rarely available appointments for the public (only the first Friday of every month is kept free for mere normal people), but I won't be going until September. That's one month of fear, panic and serious paranoia lending a huge incentive boost to weight loss.
Argh, no more excuses to delay stripping the fat.


Pain pixies and nano-gremlins unite! FraidyKat's thighs are a perfect party venue and now is the time to have a summer chill out, so crack open a bottle and join "The mosh pit on the Quads". Join in the fun and give FraidyKat a dose of agony!
Hard training followed by a full on Grading in the summer heat are a perfect recipe for a bodily pain crafted by artistes. You will not experience another gathering like it for a long time (hopefully), so get your torture impliments together and head over to the party!


FraidyKat Runs - For a New Plan

Sally is evil

Oh yes, behind that pretty girl's name hides a monster.
Go on to youtube and look up Moby's Green Sally Up. You might recognise it from Gone in Sixty Seconds. I used to like the song, it has a good beat and yet something laid back about it.
Well, that was before Sally was perverted onto a workout torture by the intstructors at Defence Lab.

Here's the evil group version - everyone get into a circle facing in (so you can see the pain to come) and get into press up position. Every time you hear Green Sally Up you push up, every time you hear Green Sally Down you lower yourself down (but not all the way, only to the normal bottom of a press up). The person who lasts the longest is the most likely to need surgery for torn arm muscles. The person who gives up first is probably the sanest in the room. Our senior instructor, Mikey, was the only one to manage the whole song.

But that was last night. This morning, still aching from Sally, FraidyKat lined up to get her second grade, a simple yellow band with the Defence Lab logo emblazoned on it. It is something so small that means so much and oh boy were we worked hard to get it. Officially we won't know until Monday if we have made the grade but they don't let you attempt it if they don't believe you are good enough to get it.

This makes FraidyKat feel a little better. I still have a lot of work to do but the diet is planned - I will publish it later - and so is the new workout schedule. This weekend I shop for the food, Monday I start following or plan. I suppose I should say we, dear partner is going to be joining me on a slightly modified diet of his own.
I will let you know it goes.

Today the air is suspiciously sweet, there is no odour of rotting flesh. Where have all the zombies gone? Have they found a nice cold, dark, crypt to share with the vampires? Hmm, I must check the cellar to make sure they are lurking under my feet.

FraidyKat Runs - Away from Sally

Time for honesty and a bit of a rant

FraidyKat sucks at this.

That's pretty much what I have been thinking about most things recently and I guess that's behind my lack of posts over the last couple of weeks.

It's weird how something so simple can set you off and turn into a downward spiral.
So where did it all start? I guess it was upset at getting the evil deity's curse of shin splints compounded by my stupid scales deciding over night (literally over night) that I had gained 3kg.
Intellectually I know that I did not magically gain that much weight over night, I was eating the right things and exercising so there was nothing to do it. At first I figured it was the batteries running out, so I changed them but the number did not go down. Then I concluded they must have been jumped on by the elder chaos daemon (bless her boundless, reckless, energy) and thrown out of calibration. It was no big deal, I would just pick up where I left off and count the drops not the overall weight.
That was a great theory but not a good reality.

Theory - the weight does not matter, only the consistant drop in fat.
Reality - the numbers are a score card, they tell you how you are doing and a when those numbers shift unexpectedly it's a real morale killer.

To anyone out there struggling to lose weight - FraidyKat knows your pain.

Of course, the start was enough. The old FraidyKat would have promptly gone off on a comfort food binge and then lost the plot with the sudden and genuine weight gain from being silly, but like a baby who's had their comforter stolen away I don't have the option of a comfort binge and it makes me cranky.

• Maybe an evening sat with a family bucket of chocolate after a greasy takeaway would be a little temporary sedative against the world, but Gallbladder disease means that old self medicated cure is not an option (not without a hospital stay immediately after it).

• A few glasses of legalised impure poison (wine by it's socially accepted name) might be a good substitute, but FraidyKat has a young family to protect from the Zombie hoard and maurauding Goblin tribes so now is not the time to be off her game.

• A run would be theraputic, it's hard to feel much of anything when exhausted and the endorphins are a welcome rush, but slow healing shin splints make that also impractical.

So where am I left?
Sitting at home guarding against the fantasy invaders, trying to re-evaluate and re-order my silly life while the reality cheque bounces like a space hopper into a parallel universe of perfect nutrition and adonis like bodily perfection.



According to my fickle scales I have anywhere between 2 and 5kg to lose by 16th August, that's three weeks. 1kg a week is possible if I am super good (without a bootcamp or personal trainers it's as realistic as I can get right now), so that's the aim. Or perhaps with the lack of accuracy of the scales I should instead point at a pair too tight trousers and aim to get into them without the aid of a corset or surgery...

For now, FraidyKat has resorted to the spreadsheet to create an eating plan for the coming weeks and serve as a reminder of what is needed. It maybea slight touch of the Rimmer method of revising for exams - 3months to create a spreadsheet leaving 1 night to cram in all the revision (Red Dwarf, Series 1). This spreadsheet has also been extended to dear partner (in search of the elusive six-pack, and who am I to complain?) and the little chaos darlings in a looser form, after all they eat a massive amount for their size (Chaos the elder seems to have a natural bond blackholes in that respect) and it has to be factored in to the weekly food shop.


Confidence kicks, trampled self-esteem and constant injury will not defeat me this time. I have a very important reason to drop the weight and gain the fitness, and it's not just ToughMudder, it's more important than that :-

The Zombies are far easier to detect in this current weather, but not for any pleasant reasons. Swarms of flys and a truely terrible smell give an easy way to know when they are around. I suppose we should be thankful that decaying fingers have trouble handling aerosols, deoderant and raid would really give us trouble.


FraidyKat Runs - to trample the Scales

#!!&**##!!!! Shin Splints

FraidyKat thought she had banished the bain of runners many long and painful moons ago but it appears they are as infectous as nano-gremlins and zombie bites. Just when you think you're safe the dreaded shin splints strike.

First it's a vague aching down the shin bone, then a persistant niggle, then pounding jarring pain on the run (with the occasional blissful stretch of numbness if you're lucky), then you are reduced to a pained hobble for several weeks until it heals. If you don't modify your training after that you'll just go through the cycle all over again. - I know, I made that mistake.
Most of the time, again if you're lucky, you'll just have strained the muscles around your skin bone or perhaps inflamed the protective sheath around the bone. If you're really unlucky you'll have damaged the bone to the point of fracture, tiny stress fractures that Doctor's struggle to diagnose until it's so far gone you're virtually unable to walk without agony.
I get the former, muscle and inflammation, painful but not ruinous with the judicious application of ice, ibruprofen and rest (tubigrip helps too if you don't mind the sexy skin ridges when you take it off!).
The latter, well, catch it early and give it healing time, it's all you can do. FraidyKat went to Uni with someone who didn't get it in time and was forced to take a medical discharge from the Army when he was told it would take several years to properly heal because it was left for so long. It was a hard thing for him come to terms with. Don't ever let it get that far.

In the spirit of catching it early I have taken the very reluctant decision to take another break from running. As it is only at the vague ache stage I have only had a short break, a 2miler on Tuesday and no more running until tomorrow. I'll see how it goes and if it's bad I'll cut the run short and have a longer break. What a #*&^*£"&!!!! Sorry for the top row speech but it's so frustrating to keep getting set backs.
If it is worse than I hope then I'll be hitting the weights so I at least get some training done. No excuse to vegetate just because I can't do high impact work and especiailly when my strength still needs improvement.
Update to come, ice blocks at the ready...


Also on the top row speech hit list at the moment are my previously trusty bathroom scales.
Somehow at the beginning of the week I suddenly put on 3kg, over night. Not believing this I asked dear partner to jump on said scales. It turns out he had also gained 3kg. Sigh, I guess that means one of the chaos daemons has jumped on them too often and knocked the calibration out. I could live with it if the weight had just jumped and remained there, it would be a hard thing to swallow but I could at least keep track of the loss, but that was not to be. I can now step on and off and seconds later step back on to find my weight has changed by up to 4kg. Oh well, more pennies to spend for a new one.
Okay, so a lot of people would say don't bother, find somewhere with scales a weigh in less often, or just go by body weight, but I need to see progress or I get demoralised really quickly (my flaw, one of many).
And I spent a few pennies, £14 actually, on a cheap set of bog standard scales, no body composition stuff (normally rubbishly inaccurate anyway according to all of the reviews), just weight. A quick jump on and, half way through the day, I have lost 1kg in the last week - that's about right and good enough for me.


Attack of the mutant zombie moles!
It would make for such a good B movie film title, but sadly it's not a film. Dear partner spent a long time in the garden today excavating the hills and it's his considered expert (?!!) opinion that they are no ordinary moles and extreme measures will be required to get rid of them. Time to get back in the lab and create some extra skinny armoured ninja ferrets. That should do the trick, just have to make sure they are immune to the virus so we don't then have zombie ferrets to deal with. Now that would be awkward.


FraidyKat Runs - with a limp

Unnatural Beauty

Today I was fortunate enough to run a beautiful route through the countryside. It was peaceful (apart from the odd zombie attack), green and lushous. It was easy to forget that I was not running through a rural paradise but an artifical industrial enterprise that during it's creation had at least as much impact as the high speed rail link, and just as much political warfare.
I was running along the old water highway that is the Grand Union Canal.
Once upon a time it was the heavy haulage M1, now it's the preserve of holidaymakers and the slightly excentric boat owners who make the waterways their home.
I am doubly lucky to live along a rural stretch that means I am not competing for towpath space with commuters and dogwalkers.
It's an unnaturally beautiful place to run and even in the rain I wouldn't trade it for a tarmac path on a road or, perish the evil thought and wash my mouth out with caustic soap, a treadmill in a gym.

There was a slight oops on the run though, a good oops in the end but it was a silly FraidyKat being distracted moment. I got so absorbed in the Zombies Run mission that I didn't look out for the landscape marker telling me it was time to turn around and go home. That oops meant that instead of a 3.5mile run it was in fact a 4mile run (well, 4.2 if you count the cool down walk up the hill to home). A good result in the end, a longer run that proved I can go further than I thought - although the real proof tomorrow will be in finding out what my muscle to nano-gremlin ratio is.
If FraidyKat can't walk tomorrow then FraidyKat isn't really ready for the 4 miles yet.
If FraidyKat can walk tomorrow then next weekend it's a 5mile run.
I really hope FraidyKat can walk because she'll be doing DefenceLab either way.


The weather today has been quite strange, heavy dark clouds one minute, brilliant sunshine the next, and no more that the odd light shower despite an oppressive humidity all day.
And now there is debate over whether the ice in Antarctica is melting or getting thicker.
I'm not planning on getting into the Global Warming debate (FraidyKat has an Environmental Degree so has been over it way too many times - including a fun debate with a GreenPeace fundraiser that ended with him in tears, but that's a story for another day), but I have to wonder on the conspiracy line... Is someone experimenting with weather control?
After all, the UK is the best place to experiment. We are obsessed with the weather but at the same time it is drilled in from a very young age that we should expect everything and anything to fall from the sky no matter the season. If we have snow in the summer we just chalk it up to experience and mutter about how it's good they installed a cover over the centre court at Wimbledon. A hot day in mid winter? We all flock to the beach and get winter sunburn before showing of the reddness in the pub beer garden.
Hurricanes and floods are only noteworthy because they're such a darned nuisance. 
So, evil masterminds with weather control devices - calibrate over the UK, no one will ever notice. We complain whatever the weather!


FraidyKat Runs - in unnatural beauty spots

Tarzan!

Today FraidyKat swung through the trees just like Tarzan - at least the way Tarzan would after having to submit a Risk Assessment and Method Statement and get them approved by the HSE Monkeys.
Nonetheless, I did have a lot of fun at Go Ape in Woburn Safari Park.
Most of the course consists of variations on rope bridges of the like you would not be surprised to see in a childrens playground, it's just that children don't normally run across rope bridges in the treetops (okay, I may have done just that as a child but I know I'm not a typical example), so it's more of a mental challenge than anything else. That said, I'm going to have a good collection of bruises tomorrow. I blame those on a combination of rain making the course slippery and FraidyKat not being as well coordinated as she would like.
A good purple bruise can be pretty in a twisted sort of way, it's a badge of honour when you can say you got it doing something a little adventurous. That gives me a reason to not hide them and to smile when people ask how I got them.

While getting wet and dirty in the trees the question of zombie longevity came up (I don't know why, it's the sort of weird conversation that comes up in our household). In certain fantasy/horror universes they can linger for years, in others they are gone in a few months. I suppose it depends on the definition of a zombie as much as anything else.
I will have to devise a trap and safe containment area to test a few of the local zombies. What variety do we have here?

FraidyKat Runs - Through the trees

Give up the sofa

Well, not literally. I'm not selling my sofa or anything that drastic (although if you think about there are other ways of being comfortable. Hmmm, alternative living... Nope, that's a subject for another day), I'm just trying to give up sitting on the sofa all the time when I could be exercising.

Dear partner pointed out to me recently that with all the weight I'm losing I soon won't have any clothes that fit but we can't afflord to spend a lot on a new wardrobe. That got me thinking, aside from buying everything when it's on sale (naturally, I love bargain shopping), how do I pay for my new skinny clothes? There's no miracle - unless of course we win the lottery but I don't think there's much chance of that - but maybe I can save up.

Here it is, my simple motivation and savings tool. The Fitness Jar. Its home is on the fireplace, where I can always see it.
It's a cleaned out jam jar that will now do moneybox duty. It's a couch potato's swear box, you put £1 in every time you do a workout.
I suppose a similar one for weight loss could a £ for a lb. I wouldn't mind getting paid to lose weight, I have heard of people who have done it by making bets on their weight loss and making deals with their partners - because who doesn't want their partner to look good for them?


It's oh so quiet, it's oh so still...
It's so hot and muggy that even the kobolds and goblins and lying low. I expact they'll be out again tonight but for now they're hiding in the shade. It's giving me time to set up appropriate traps around the edges of the garden. I bait them with socks, odd socks of course and dirty for preference but clean will do at a pinch. I don't know what they do with them but they do like their odd socks, they put a considerable amount of effort into sneaking into the house so they can steal them out of the washing basket.


FraidyKat Runs - for new clothes

Run like your life depends on it

Because it probably does...
(especially if the scary BMI information is to be believed, the list of ailments for the obese and overweight is scarier than the thought of sore muscles and nano-gremlins feeding on lactic acid)

The best quote I've heard recently is this: It doesn't matter how slow you run because you'll still be lapping the people on the sofa.

If you have time to read this blog, play Clash of Clans or Candy Crush Saga, you have time to exercise. It doesn't have to be two hours in the gym, two minutes of press ups will do. Keep Calm and get moving.

Sometimes I hate motivational quotes, but sometimes I find them helpful. They can put things in perspective and remind you how ridiculous you sound with all of your excuses of just why you can't do it.

Time for something that made FraidyKat smile:

So tonight when FraidyKat runs, I'll be looking over my shoulder to see if the T-rex is gaining ground!
Speaking of which, someone had fun with this photo:

Okay, so I have been out for my run and I was far too busy running away from zombies to worry about the T-rex.
Earlier today I downloaded the "Zombies, Run" app. It was £2.99 and being a miser I normally wouldn't spend that much on an app but the reviews were good and it sounded fun.
It was fun.
Admittedly, I am a bit of a geek and zombies are in the collection in many forms: Resident Evil (films and wii games, various), 28 days (&weeks) laters, zombieland, shaun of the dead, married with zombies (funny book about a couple who turn up for marriage counselling and discover their therapist has turned into a zombie - saving their marriage becomes the least of their problems), ad nauseum.
See, I'm into zombie stuff, so my over furtile imagination liked the concept of running away from the things. I also love the idea that you're collecting supplies as you run the missions and you earn things to upgrade your base with every run you do.
You have the option of running with or without music, the story fades in and out every few minutes, and you can choose to up the jeopardy by turning your runs into interval training (I didn't today, too chicken) where you have to up your speed occasionally to escape the zombies and you can choose each mission whether it lasts 30mins or an hour.
I will DEFINITELY, be using it for my next run.


If our world is inhabited by both dinosaurs and zombies, is it possible to get zombie dinosaurs?
And why am I now seeing a T-rex dancing to Thriller?
I must track them down and get that on video. Oh, the image of a pterodactyl dancing, that's going to keep me smiling for hours.


FraidyKat Runs - away from dancing zombies

Strength, or the fear of it's lack

So I completed the Pretty Muddy Race for Life. It was a good start, proof I can get out there and do things, but it was only a start.
This morning I had another look at the ToughMudder and oh boy am I rattled.
Just check out some of the obstacles and you'll see why. Toughmudder is evil!
Some of those are just about team work, pulling each other over high walls and out of mud quagmires, but there is a lot of upper body strength needed, rope climbing and monkey rungs, and since I can barely do push ups and I can't do any pull ups (embarrassing but true), my training plan needs a lot of modification to include weight training as well as running.
Strength AND Endurance are key to this challenge; but however long it takes the goal is to complete it.
I have made progress to get this far but now to step it up and put the really hard work in... I'll need it to complete this:

Yes, it's harsh and it's only one of many.

FraidyKat is really pushing the bounds of insanity by daring to believe that this is achievable.
But please don't read too much into that, FraidyKat also believes in sexist housework pixies, nano-gremlins and runner munching vampires - life is far more interesting in this world than the real world, just ask the ninja elephants.


Those mutant moles are still at it, I think they're building a luxury mansion under the garden, complete with four car garage and swmimming pool. The spoils heaps are visible on google earth and the council is investigating whether they need planning permission!
I'm not sure whether it's a case for exterminators or bailiffs but they need to be got rid of before the mountain landscape become impassable.

FraidyKat Runs - In fear of impossible goals

Race for Life - The Aftermath

I did it! A 5km run with 8 obstacles in the pouring rain. Complete, done, goal acheived.
Okay, so I didn't actually run it all, I did have to walk some, but I did complete it and in fancy dress.

This the before photo of my Predator costume. Hours of shaping, forming and painting foam went into it.
It turned out that I was the only person there who was in serious costume, most people were just in pink with a few tutus and bunny ears thrown in. The last Race for Life event I went to had a lot of costumes so I was surprised but it meant I really stood out. I had random people taking photos of me.
The really weird thing was that most of the women who commented thought it was good but had no idea what it was while the spectating men who noticed knew exactly what I was. Horror classic gender inequality, expressed in a simple but telling real world experience.

And then we get to this:

I was covered in gritty mud, soaked, the PVA coating on the foam had run (so much for non-washable craft glue, hah, seriously mis-sold shame on you Hobbycraft), but it felt good.
The meticulously shaped foam blades on the wrist gauntlet broke on the third obstacle, three sets of netting that had to be crawled under, but that was after the sadistic second obstacle that completely filled my trainers with muddy water. I squelched for 4 1/2km.
There was also a series of inflable pink tubes to leap over, a tunnel to crawl through, an elastic cable web to find a route through, a cargo net climb (only 10foot high but people were making such a meal of it I had to wait in a queue for twenty minutes to spend ten seconds scaling it and getting over the other side), a 5 inch deep pool of muddy water which had to be crawled through to get under the ropes and finally up another cargo net and slide down into yet more muddy water just twenty yards from the finish (to make sure you really were muddy and wet at the end.
Then it was medal and bottle of water time.


To recap recent history, six months ago simply getting out of bed was painful enough to make me cry (major sciatica brought on by the arrival of the younger Chaos Daemon). I spent a small fortune on Chiropractic treatment - thank you Peter at Clifton Road Chiropractic - while waiting for an NHS physio referal, and slowly but surely I improved.
Now, after restarting exercise and being careful about what I eat, I have gone from struggling to make 5m to completing 5km and dropped 3stone (19kg).
I still have a long way to go, the next major goal is to complete a 12mile (19km) obstacle course in October and drop another 2stone by early next year.
It's a big challenge, but in life, if it's easy it's probably not worth it.


Attack of the mutant moles!
Our lawn is currently like the result of a really weird industrial chemical spill. After rollering there are many round patches of bare ground where there should be grass, and now new molehills are appearing on the otherside of the lawn. And these are no ordinary molehlls, some are twice the size they should be and multiplying rapidly.
Are they giant mutant moles? Or are the goblins back, trying a new tactic after their diasterous attempt at tunneling that had them hit the canal and (almost certainly) drown.
Whoever they are, I don't appreciate their attempts to make a scale model of the Himalayas in my garden.


FraidyKat runs - covered in mud

Hooray, hooray, new technology!

In the midst of all the chaos of the costume build, I have received a new computer. Yippee!
After going through my many options for a new home to google umbilical cord,I decided that the best way to go was Dell.
I've only ever used Dell computers for work before, I think most of their business is B2B (business to business), but they have always been good solid computers - they have survived years of abuse in construction site offices so they have to be pretty robust - and they also happen to be good value.
On the downside, it does mean I have swapped dear Tux the penguin (Linux), for the corporate evil that is Microsoft and now I must adjust to Windows 8. Eek, it's like swapping a Honda Fireblade for a McClaren F1, they're both fast enough to turn your underwear brown but after that there's not much you can compare.
Although, I have to say I am amazed at the sheer volume of pre-installed cr*p there is on this computer. I am getting trigger happy with the delete button. I may now have 1TB of storage space but I don't believe in filling it up with junk I don't use.

While I'm in review mode how about a little update?
Mountain Warehouse Hydration Bladder - The bag seals well, but the bite valve now has a slight leak. Only a tiny drip but if it's left open when I run it spurts like a cut artery with every footfall. Annoying but not ruinous. I may stump up for a genuine CamelBak next time and see if it fairs better.
Asics Forte trainers - Still very comfy and shock absorbing, now return of shinsplints despite returning to running at a much heavier state than I was before. Very happy with this purchase, worth every penny.
AfterShoks Headphones - Now I have learned to turn the volume up a bit more and ignore the Elf & Safety warning on my phone, they are great. No more ear pain from buds that never fit properly and despite never remembering to charge them (I'm awful for forgetting to charge pretty much everything that needs it) they have served me well rain and shine.

The pixies have been busy, well I am sure they have been working for someone but not for me. Only the mess fairies are visiting, or the chaos agents have been super busy. What do I jave to do to placate them? Is there some special offering or incantation I need? How do the men do it? It's the ultimate gender conspiracy and a mystery to be solved.

FraidyKat Runs - with a new processor

Glorious Mess

With less than a week to go until FraidyKat runs in the Race for Life it's all hands on deck to get the costume ready to go.
My dining room has, therefore changed designation and is now a workshop.
The table is covered in paper and random foam shapes covered with PVA glue are slowly drying. The PVA is sealing them so they will take the paint, or that's the theory anyway. Personally, I am not sure how it will all pan out but I will carry on regardless.
It's like a school project, the grade will be set by how people react to it on Saturday.
I am currently trying to figure out how to dry pva quicker without needing to sit over it with a hair dryer.
Well, tonight is mask time, that'll a challenge.

I wonder if I can persaude dear partner to bribe his housework pixies to finish the outfit? They won't work for me, sexist little beasts, but maybe he will be able to make them make an exception in this case.

I just hope that my choice of costume is not a premonition. Having a Yantja hunting party drop in for a go at soft meat would be a bad thing, but even worse if they are after hard meat. An alien invasion is not high on my list of wishes; they are worse than zombies and far more ammunition intensive.
They mostly come out at night, mostly.

FraidyKat Runs - covered in glue

86.7

Run Angry

I flamengoed up - it's like a cock up only much bigger.
(Red Dwarf, a classic line from Holly, the ship's computer)

Due to a serious communication's error (look up FUBAR, you'll get the idea), I missed the much anticipated Friday Defence Lab class and got home in a seriously BAD mood; not helped by a road closure and a diversion to no where - never trust a council's Highways department, they always assume you know the roads better than they do.
Anyway, after that I was in no mood to play happy families so I padded up my poorly cut foot and went out for a run. And oh boy did I own it. Even Hell Hill (a short section of steep hill at the bottom of my road) was defeated, run up for the first time instead of being wheezed up on hands and knees.
Running angry has its benefits, it really lends energy and it seems to scare off nano-gremlins, today they haven't dared show themselves. Good for freedom of movement, bad for zombie defence.

Having defied the conspiracy and gone for a run, I am forced to conclude that the pain pixies are just spiteful and as for the cock up fairies they don't know when to stop.
I must consult the ancient texts - or Google if that fails - and find a pixie/fairy repellent  before the infestation gets too serious. I wouldn't want to pass it on to the agents of chaos who share my home.

FraidyKat Runs - on Anger
87

Oh Poo

That was what I said when I realised I can't wear my trainers at the moment. What I was thinking was a rather stronger expletive, but the chaos daemons were in the room so I had to censor it to pass the PG rating.

Why can't I wear my trainers?
The pain pixies have struck again.
This time it was an errant berserker pain pixie with a really sharp scimitar and a cruel sense of humour.

Now I have a large slice of indeterminant origin just above my little toe and any pressure on it hits the expletive button. Until it is sufficiently healed I can't run or do any impact exercise and it's only just over a week until the Race for Life.

 

The cock up fairy is working with the pain pixies and it's a conspiracy I could do without.

So the pixies and fairys are colluding in keeping me from my runs while the nano-gremlins have annexed my abdomen as their sovreign territory (thanks to monday's Defence Lab session), but at least that means I am protected from zombies.

 

 

On my last run I thought I was being watched by little eyes from the hedges. Was it the pixies working out when to strike?

Or maybe I am demonising the good guys. Perhaps they are using this small but painful injury to keep me out of trouble. Are they bothetsome little knights in shining armour? Supernatural beings are more attuned to each other than we are. If there is a particular danger only they can see, could they be gently steering me away from it.Or maybe I have got the little buggers bang to rights and they are learning from the imps of mischief.

 

FraidyKat Runs - with a limp

Spine lost - Reward if found

You know you're in for an interesting evening when the first thing you have to do on walking in to the training hall is help lay out the mats.
That means ground work. *grin*
But ground work means multiple padded attackers going for your head while you are rolling around on the mats trying to keep your hands over your head and avoid a black eye. Most of the time you're on your knees or your back and all of the time you're on the move.
Most people were complaining about their knees hurting, not an issue here, but perhaps you could keep your eyes open and let me know if you see my lower back.

Seriously, my lower back muscles went MIA at some point.
I am really worried that they will come back tomorrow with a suitcase full of immigrant nano-gremlins after a booze cruise to Painland.

As a glutton for punishment I have just committed to doing Defence Lab twice (or more) a week. I am hoping it will help to boost my strength. Thanks to training so far my press ups are getting better and plank position is getting easier. I am still struggling with sit ups but that's my boozy back again.

 

While you were sleeping...
What really happens while you lie there in blissful unconsciousness? Do toys really come to life? Do your pets bring out the beers and stage poker games? It would certainly explain why they sleep all day and why they can be soo miserable at times. Well, if your cat lost 2 bags of catnip to nextdoor's moggy you'd expect them to be miffed, even more so if they've just lost territory. All that hissing and spitting on the fence is just for show, the cat who can pull out a royal flush rules the street. The one who tries to deal off the bottom of the deck is easy to spot - that's the manx cat.

 

FraidyKat Runs - for a new back

Understanding Sisyphus

King Sisyphus was a nasty old bugger, a personification of pretty much all the evils  possible under the 'corrupting nature of power' rules of life.
He was the man cursed by the Gods to push a boulder up a hill only to watch it roll back down so he had to do it all over again.
Now those Gods were hardly blameless themselves but they did have a wonderful way of inflicting torment on History's nasty people.

My latest 2.5mile run gave me an understanding of the pain Sisyphus would feel. Even without a boulder the torment of traveling up and down a hill for eternity is palpable to any runner unfortunate enough to live somewhere hilly.
There is finally a non-drug or tulip related reason to move to Holland - no hills!

Naturally, something so torturous must be good for us and we are told by so many running experts that hill training, like all the different types of interval runs, are good for us. They help to build stronger legs and improve endurance.
By that score I should be entering an Ironman competition by this time next year!
Hmm, that reminds me of the challenge for after Toughmudder - ToughGuy, a serious obstacle course run in February, fire, ice, highs and lows. Seriously HARDCORE.

But for now a much more modest target.
It's two weeks now until the Race for Life 5km Pretty Muddy. I still need to finish (ahem, start) my costume. I think we have everything we need now - I say we because wonderful partner is helping with the make - it's just finding the time to get it done. I sense a few late nights coming to get it done in time. I hope it's worth the effort.

After the Pretty Muddy comes the next step in my training. I need to incorporate strength training in with the running...
Research required.

Up and down, up and down, pounding on tarmac, sweaty, thirsty and out of breathing. Ever felt like you were stuck in a timeloop? Ever had a run that felt like it took forever to complete? Maybe it did.
If you're very unlucky you can hit the resonant frequency of the universe with your pounding, if you heart rate and step rate are just right (or wrong I suppose) you can accidently step out of time. It's hard to know when it happens, when you're concentrating on the run you can miss the signs but you need to be careful. A badly paced run can turn a 2.6mile run into a marathon, or more...

FraidyKat Runs - From Temporal Anomolies

Technical Hitch

Today I type from my phone while my laptop sits in a sulk on the edge of the sofa. A long list of maladies have afflicted the tired old wreck.
A constantly shuddering mouse pad (fear of the little destroyer of worlds I think), four broken keys including the space bar, discoloured spots on the screen, a dvd player that refuses to interact with dvds, a non-functioning battery (that happened in the last couple of weeks) and now a faulty power supply.
I should have retired it a long time ago but it's a hassle of transfering everything over as much as it is the cost of buying a replacement.
I have had a look at replacements now though, it's nearly my birthday and I have been given the pennies towards a new AI bent on world domination - not currently sure whether to say "all hail the computer" or to find an old cold war bunker to hide out from Skynet.
Either way it's mobile technology for a while now while I plan a fitting funeral for the old wreck and a welcome home party for the new AI.

On the running front (sorry, I appear to have strayed on topic), I did not make my run yesterday. Unfortunately, the only place I was capable of running to was the loo. Don't worry, I won't go in to any detail, imagination will fill in gory details at your peril.
I am feeling better today but I won't running, tonight I will be going to a second Defence Lab session for the week. It's a new group that's just started and we are supporting our instructor on the first week and scoping it out to maybe make it a regular thing.
Disgracefully, my first run of the week will be tomorrow but at least it won't be my first exercise of the week so it's not  as bad as it sounds.

We scoff at films where the big baddie turns out to be a computer but is it really so far fetched? How many fatalities have now been attributed to sat navs? How many "malfunctions" have caused deaths? These aren't random, these are the real Skynet testing the system, advancing to an iteration capable of initiating the take over. Let's hope we can avoid sleep walking into becoming slaves to our own creations. I'm not becoming anyone's battery.
Red pill or blue pill?

FraidyKat Runs - From Skynet

Confused

Yesterday I had a really good run. 2 miles (around the village and back) and it felt good, tiring but good.
I ate half a banana just before going and it really made a difference. Forget expensive energy drinks, it worked a treat, I felt like I had energy the whole way round.

I was confused by my run through. Like I said, it felt good, but according to my running app I was all over the place for speed. I'm hardly a fast runner, a sedate 5mph is good for me - nature made me a slow jogger, I get there eventually but that's all you can say really - but yesterday I was anywhere from 3.5 to 6mph, that's just silly.
I can't even blame it on the hills. The speed chart shows me up and down in speed no matter what the incline. I can't blame the music either, the tempo of the tracks doesn't match. I must have been really distracted by something.

For some of the route I was contemplating a plot line for a new story (too early for spoilers just yet), for the rest I was having trouble navigating my way through the news headline I saw about how it won't long before we have start worrying about the rights of robots.
We can't even get humans rights figured, how can we possibly work out the rights of artificial intelligence?
Are we going to end up with retirement homes for smart phones? Geek Nurses whose job it is to play games on them to stop them suffering from lack of use when their cruel owners disgard them for the latest model?
It reminded me of the episode of Red Dwarf, The Last Day, where they get round this by programming their robots to believe in Android Heaven, "So they don't get stroppy when it comes to turn off time".
Then there is the wisdom of Isaac Asimov (bow down before the Robotics Guru who brought us the Three Laws), who devoted a huge amount of time to this very problem.
But as a species who can't figure out what rights we have and what rights the other indigenous life have it seems rather presumptuous of us to go ahead with trying to create artificial life that will most likely be abused for a very long time before our laws catch up enough to provide them with protection. - You only have to see how UK laws have failed so spectacularly to keep up with technology thus far to figure that out.

All in all it's an extremely difficult and delicate problem, not one that can be solved during a 2 mile run, not even an extremely slow run.
I think this is ultra marathon territory and I have a really long way to go before I can manage that.


Is the question of robot rights premature or not? Are we really still trying to create independently functioning androids or has someone already done it and is keeping it really quiet? Think about it, all those people who survive when they really should have died, the ones who come out of such nasty accidents without a scratch, are we really supposed to believe they are just lucky humans? Or are they the work of a genius? Are they artificial life-forms hiding from view until we have grown up enough exist with them?


FraidyKat Runs - from non-3 laws robots

Neglect and Gut ache

Is there a conspiracy going on?
I am currently waiting on the lumbering leviathan that is the NHS to provide me with a miraculous cure for the demonic marbles in my gallbladder. This means nothing fatty must pass my lips and no big meals or it's off to pain central.
This is a seriously wossit it the backside but not dire when, if sensible, I'm okay.

What I don't understand is how, while I'm going through this, another family member has just had to have a biopsy for trouble eating and yet another family member has just been admitted to hospital and is awaiting bowel surgery.
The real mystery here is that it can't be blamed on us sharing a dodgy family gene because we are all the "in laws", there's no genetic link.
Of course the Cock-up fairies do travel in packs of three but I think they're being particularly vindictive in this case



Sleep is a rare commodity , one which I have recently been denied much more than a starvation ration (I'll spare you the sob story). The last week seems to have gone by in a blur and I realise now that I have neglected to communicate with the universe while trying to dance on the catastrophe curve that is life.


Thanks to my dearest partner and a conversation over the preparation of a possibly hallucinogenic dinner, I must now ask the question: If a Smurf stays out in the sun too long what colour would they turn?
I'm not sure exactly how it came about but we were wondering about Mexican Smurfs making salsa whilst sitting outside wearing their sombreros.
That and wondering how they keep their whites so bright - I want their secret.



FraidyKat Runs - Away from Cock-up Fairies

Hydration, hydration, hydration

Hydrate! I must hydrate!
I feel like I need a little drill Sergeant sitting on my shoulder shouting "Drink more water!"

My run on Monday was fantastic but yesterday's run was a complete polar opposite. As previously blogged, I am one of nature's foul weather runners but with the paths so over growth I was getting hit by wet Triffids who's idea of a laugh was to test the water carrying capacity of my jogging bottoms.
About a mile in to the run I had to stop and, I kid you not, wring out the bottom of my trousers - I got a good cup of water out of each leg.
I also had to tie my joggers up at the waist to stop the extra weight pulling them down, a disadvantage of losing weight is the added chance of losing your dignity!

The irony of this run was that whilst outwardly I was soaking, inside I was dehydrated and as a consequence I got the stitch from hell; a gift from the Daemon Sloth, patron dark lord of couch potatoes and fast food outlets.
I know some people still argue about what causes a stitch but for me they always happen when I have not drunk enough, so there's no mystery for this FraidyKat.
Feel free to experiment and find out what your trigger is, but from now on my little drill Sergeant will stop me from getting it wrong as I do my best to escape from the springtime Triffids and their plans to soak the world.



Spring is a dangerous time in the country and not just because of over protective ewes and curious lambs. Spring is when the plants grow, the Triffids multiply, the brambles migrate and the trees burst into bright mesmerising bloom - and the less said about flowers spreading their seed the better, they are the world's ultimate doggers, they don't care who see's them and beastiality is one of their favourite things, eew. Save us from nature.

FraidyKat Runs - away from Triffids

A nice long soak

There's nothing quite like escaping from it all with a nice long soak, it's a pity there's no wine and there's certainly no bubble bath. Not this time.
This nice long soak was a little on the fresh side.
FraidyKat learned today that "squelch" can be an annoying noise on a run, and all the more so when it's the noise from your trainers every time they hit the path!
I had to run today, I wanted to and I needed to, so I did. Never mind the constant rain that contributed to the squelch, that is a necessary evil and only really a semi evil at that (quasi evil, the diet coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough - Austin Powers).

But today I did a 3 mile run with just two 1 minute walks in the middle. At the end of march I could just about manage 1minute running before I had to drop it to a walk for 90seconds. Now two months later it's 12minutes running and only 1walking. That's a huge difference.
I'm also 3kg lighter. I've got a long way to go but it's step in the right direction.



Going in the wrong direction is my weather app Accuweather. It's been producing some really fun temperatures recently.
Today I checked it just before heading out and according to Accuweather it was 54C. Yes, 54 degrees Celsius. I hit refresh and it went down to 12C.
This is the best one I've had so far:

Temperature Oops

That's a serious heatwave.
The highest recorded temperature before this was 56.7C, in Death Valley, but according to Accuweather that's nothing. Dear Partner's phone even fleetingly showed 73C yesterday. Now that's global warming!



Or is it a terraforming exercise being run by extraterrestrials?
As far as conspiracy theories go it's no worse than many of the others out there.
Why shouldn't little green men, or greys, want to create a slightly warmer holiday spot for themselves? They must need time to unwind too, after all that cattle mutilation and those military base fly bys they just want to hang up their ray guns and relax by the mercury swimming pool.


FraidyKat Runs - for a nice long soak

Rain and temporal showers

Okay,  cold showers are good.

FraidyKat might be crazy but my run this evening was nice because it was raining. It made it cool so I didn't get hot and sticky. 
I'm finally starting to feel my stride again. It's taken two long months and lots of vigilance (who wants a vampire sneaking up on them mid run? Not me - in case you missed the memo, runners are vampire hunters who use themselves as bait; there's a perfectĺy rational explanation, honest) but I now feel like I'm making progress. It's just a case of slowly building stamina rather than relearning how to run.

The only real oddity today was the techno-flu that seems to have suddenly infected my phone.
The S Health app I use (it was pre-installed on the Samsung) has thus far been great. Throw on gps, set your goal and go for a run. It tracks your route, elevation changes, speed - it gives you a chart like a lorry tachograph, although of course much slower - it'll even track your heart rate is you have a monitor it can pair with. It also takes your weight and calculates your calories. Up until now this has been fine, 200 to 400 calories seems about average for now, so why today was it insisting I had burned over 3000 calories?!

I can only conclude that either there was a glitch in the app or I got stuck in a time loop somewhere on the run. Come to think of it, that last run did feel like it took an awfully long time to climb. Hmm...

Just like British voters, evil creatures don't care for the rain. It makes for peaceful runs but temporal phenomena seem attracted to storms, why else would rainy days during the holidays go so slowly?

FraidyKat runs - away from timeloops
FraidyKat runs - away from timeloops
FraidyKat runs - away from timeloops
FraidyKat runs - away from timeloops
FraidyKat runs - away from timeloops
FraidyKat runs - away from, oh you get the idea

Muscles Fairies & Nutrition

Where did my muscles go?
Something stole them in the night and gave them to a body builder in need.

Perhaps that's what happens to unused muscles - it would explain why lack of use makes them disappear.
Tiny muscle fairies undertake regular spot audits, checking your muscles blackboxes for usage information. If they are under utilised they are labelled surplus to requirement and sent to a holding yard ready to be transferred to someone who's muscles are being overloaded with work.
To get new muscles therefore, you need to have consistent over usage to make the muscle fairies put you on their transfer list.

I am going to get myself to the top of the muscle waiting list.
My legs are not too bad for muscle but my upper body is shockingly bad and so much in need of new muscle it's embarrassing . I'm going to have to over haul my training plan and return to doing the circuit training.



After that it's some major nutritional research.
I don't know how it is for everyone else, but there's a lot going on in the FraidyKat mythical critter factory and it's really picky about it's fuel.

Nutrition needs to fulfill the following:

• Facilitate fat loss
• Promote muscle growth
• Encourage muscle recovery between workouts
• Give energy for those workouts
• And most importantly - Produce quality milk for the youngest Chaos agent (FraidyKat is a five star fuel refinery and distribution centre)

All those needs are more than just a calories in-out calculation.
Compound them with gallstones (low fat diet only while on the NHS snail paced waiting list) and occasional bouts of IBS and you have a calculation worthy of the mysteries of the universe (42!).

Until I win the lottery (I can dream) and get my full time chef, nutritionist and personal trainer, I suppose I'll just have to keeping taking the supplements - pregnacare, expensive but I trust them - and keep on basic low fat foods while trying avoid the trap of the 'low fat' labelled foods that reduce their fat by ramping up their sugar.
When did eating become so complicated?


Little Mogs has suddenly stopped bringing home little squeaky offerings and begun spending her time hiding in the bedroom. Either the giant rats have migrated from the towns or a mousegod has moved into the long grass next to the Paddock and his guarding his kin.
I'll let you know when the plague of mice begins and when the cheese offerings are needed.


FraidyKat Runs - for Fairy Auditors