That's pretty much what I have been thinking about most things recently and I guess that's behind my lack of posts over the last couple of weeks.
It's weird how something so simple can set you off and turn into a downward spiral.
So where did it all start? I guess it was upset at getting the evil deity's curse of shin splints compounded by my stupid scales deciding over night (literally over night) that I had gained 3kg.
Intellectually I know that I did not magically gain that much weight over night, I was eating the right things and exercising so there was nothing to do it. At first I figured it was the batteries running out, so I changed them but the number did not go down. Then I concluded they must have been jumped on by the elder chaos daemon (bless her boundless, reckless, energy) and thrown out of calibration. It was no big deal, I would just pick up where I left off and count the drops not the overall weight.
That was a great theory but not a good reality.
Theory - the weight does not matter, only the consistant drop in fat.
Reality - the numbers are a score card, they tell you how you are doing and a when those numbers shift unexpectedly it's a real morale killer.
To anyone out there struggling to lose weight - FraidyKat knows your pain.
Of course, the start was enough. The old FraidyKat would have promptly gone off on a comfort food binge and then lost the plot with the sudden and genuine weight gain from being silly, but like a baby who's had their comforter stolen away I don't have the option of a comfort binge and it makes me cranky.
- Maybe an evening sat with a family bucket of chocolate after a greasy takeaway would be a little temporary sedative against the world, but Gallbladder disease means that old self medicated cure is not an option (not without a hospital stay immediately after it).
- A few glasses of legalised impure poison (wine by it's socially accepted name) might be a good substitute, but FraidyKat has a young family to protect from the Zombie hoard and maurauding Goblin tribes so now is not the time to be off her game.
- A run would be theraputic, it's hard to feel much of anything when exhausted and the endorphins are a welcome rush, but slow healing shin splints make that also impractical.
Sitting at home guarding against the fantasy invaders, trying to re-evaluate and re-order my silly life while the reality cheque bounces like a space hopper into a parallel universe of perfect nutrition and adonis like bodily perfection.
According to my fickle scales I have anywhere between 2 and 5kg to lose by 16th August, that's three weeks. 1kg a week is possible if I am super good (without a bootcamp or personal trainers it's as realistic as I can get right now), so that's the aim. Or perhaps with the lack of accuracy of the scales I should instead point at a pair too tight trousers and aim to get into them without the aid of a corset or surgery...
For now, FraidyKat has resorted to the spreadsheet to create an eating plan for the coming weeks and serve as a reminder of what is needed. It maybea slight touch of the Rimmer method of revising for exams - 3months to create a spreadsheet leaving 1 night to cram in all the revision (Red Dwarf, Series 1). This spreadsheet has also been extended to dear partner (in search of the elusive six-pack, and who am I to complain?) and the little chaos darlings in a looser form, after all they eat a massive amount for their size (Chaos the elder seems to have a natural bond blackholes in that respect) and it has to be factored in to the weekly food shop.
Confidence kicks, trampled self-esteem and constant injury will not defeat me this time. I have a very important reason to drop the weight and gain the fitness, and it's not just ToughMudder, it's more important than that :-
The Zombies are far easier to detect in this current weather, but not for any pleasant reasons. Swarms of flys and a truely terrible smell give an easy way to know when they are around. I suppose we should be thankful that decaying fingers have trouble handling aerosols, deoderant and raid would really give us trouble.
FraidyKat Runs - to trample the Scales
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