Strength, or the fear of it's lack

So I completed the Pretty Muddy Race for Life. It was a good start, proof I can get out there and do things, but it was only a start.
This morning I had another look at the ToughMudder and oh boy am I rattled.
Just check out some of the obstacles and you'll see why. Toughmudder is evil!
Some of those are just about team work, pulling each other over high walls and out of mud quagmires, but there is a lot of upper body strength needed, rope climbing and monkey rungs, and since I can barely do push ups and I can't do any pull ups (embarrassing but true), my training plan needs a lot of modification to include weight training as well as running.
Strength AND Endurance are key to this challenge; but however long it takes the goal is to complete it.
I have made progress to get this far but now to step it up and put the really hard work in... I'll need it to complete this:

Yes, it's harsh and it's only one of many.

FraidyKat is really pushing the bounds of insanity by daring to believe that this is achievable.
But please don't read too much into that, FraidyKat also believes in sexist housework pixies, nano-gremlins and runner munching vampires - life is far more interesting in this world than the real world, just ask the ninja elephants.


Those mutant moles are still at it, I think they're building a luxury mansion under the garden, complete with four car garage and swmimming pool. The spoils heaps are visible on google earth and the council is investigating whether they need planning permission!
I'm not sure whether it's a case for exterminators or bailiffs but they need to be got rid of before the mountain landscape become impassable.

FraidyKat Runs - In fear of impossible goals

Race for Life - The Aftermath

I did it! A 5km run with 8 obstacles in the pouring rain. Complete, done, goal acheived.
Okay, so I didn't actually run it all, I did have to walk some, but I did complete it and in fancy dress.

This the before photo of my Predator costume. Hours of shaping, forming and painting foam went into it.
It turned out that I was the only person there who was in serious costume, most people were just in pink with a few tutus and bunny ears thrown in. The last Race for Life event I went to had a lot of costumes so I was surprised but it meant I really stood out. I had random people taking photos of me.
The really weird thing was that most of the women who commented thought it was good but had no idea what it was while the spectating men who noticed knew exactly what I was. Horror classic gender inequality, expressed in a simple but telling real world experience.

And then we get to this:

I was covered in gritty mud, soaked, the PVA coating on the foam had run (so much for non-washable craft glue, hah, seriously mis-sold shame on you Hobbycraft), but it felt good.
The meticulously shaped foam blades on the wrist gauntlet broke on the third obstacle, three sets of netting that had to be crawled under, but that was after the sadistic second obstacle that completely filled my trainers with muddy water. I squelched for 4 1/2km.
There was also a series of inflable pink tubes to leap over, a tunnel to crawl through, an elastic cable web to find a route through, a cargo net climb (only 10foot high but people were making such a meal of it I had to wait in a queue for twenty minutes to spend ten seconds scaling it and getting over the other side), a 5 inch deep pool of muddy water which had to be crawled through to get under the ropes and finally up another cargo net and slide down into yet more muddy water just twenty yards from the finish (to make sure you really were muddy and wet at the end.
Then it was medal and bottle of water time.


To recap recent history, six months ago simply getting out of bed was painful enough to make me cry (major sciatica brought on by the arrival of the younger Chaos Daemon). I spent a small fortune on Chiropractic treatment - thank you Peter at Clifton Road Chiropractic - while waiting for an NHS physio referal, and slowly but surely I improved.
Now, after restarting exercise and being careful about what I eat, I have gone from struggling to make 5m to completing 5km and dropped 3stone (19kg).
I still have a long way to go, the next major goal is to complete a 12mile (19km) obstacle course in October and drop another 2stone by early next year.
It's a big challenge, but in life, if it's easy it's probably not worth it.


Attack of the mutant moles!
Our lawn is currently like the result of a really weird industrial chemical spill. After rollering there are many round patches of bare ground where there should be grass, and now new molehills are appearing on the otherside of the lawn. And these are no ordinary molehlls, some are twice the size they should be and multiplying rapidly.
Are they giant mutant moles? Or are the goblins back, trying a new tactic after their diasterous attempt at tunneling that had them hit the canal and (almost certainly) drown.
Whoever they are, I don't appreciate their attempts to make a scale model of the Himalayas in my garden.


FraidyKat runs - covered in mud

Hooray, hooray, new technology!

In the midst of all the chaos of the costume build, I have received a new computer. Yippee!
After going through my many options for a new home to google umbilical cord,I decided that the best way to go was Dell.
I've only ever used Dell computers for work before, I think most of their business is B2B (business to business), but they have always been good solid computers - they have survived years of abuse in construction site offices so they have to be pretty robust - and they also happen to be good value.
On the downside, it does mean I have swapped dear Tux the penguin (Linux), for the corporate evil that is Microsoft and now I must adjust to Windows 8. Eek, it's like swapping a Honda Fireblade for a McClaren F1, they're both fast enough to turn your underwear brown but after that there's not much you can compare.
Although, I have to say I am amazed at the sheer volume of pre-installed cr*p there is on this computer. I am getting trigger happy with the delete button. I may now have 1TB of storage space but I don't believe in filling it up with junk I don't use.

While I'm in review mode how about a little update?
Mountain Warehouse Hydration Bladder - The bag seals well, but the bite valve now has a slight leak. Only a tiny drip but if it's left open when I run it spurts like a cut artery with every footfall. Annoying but not ruinous. I may stump up for a genuine CamelBak next time and see if it fairs better.
Asics Forte trainers - Still very comfy and shock absorbing, now return of shinsplints despite returning to running at a much heavier state than I was before. Very happy with this purchase, worth every penny.
AfterShoks Headphones - Now I have learned to turn the volume up a bit more and ignore the Elf & Safety warning on my phone, they are great. No more ear pain from buds that never fit properly and despite never remembering to charge them (I'm awful for forgetting to charge pretty much everything that needs it) they have served me well rain and shine.

The pixies have been busy, well I am sure they have been working for someone but not for me. Only the mess fairies are visiting, or the chaos agents have been super busy. What do I jave to do to placate them? Is there some special offering or incantation I need? How do the men do it? It's the ultimate gender conspiracy and a mystery to be solved.

FraidyKat Runs - with a new processor

Glorious Mess

With less than a week to go until FraidyKat runs in the Race for Life it's all hands on deck to get the costume ready to go.
My dining room has, therefore changed designation and is now a workshop.
The table is covered in paper and random foam shapes covered with PVA glue are slowly drying. The PVA is sealing them so they will take the paint, or that's the theory anyway. Personally, I am not sure how it will all pan out but I will carry on regardless.
It's like a school project, the grade will be set by how people react to it on Saturday.
I am currently trying to figure out how to dry pva quicker without needing to sit over it with a hair dryer.
Well, tonight is mask time, that'll a challenge.

I wonder if I can persaude dear partner to bribe his housework pixies to finish the outfit? They won't work for me, sexist little beasts, but maybe he will be able to make them make an exception in this case.

I just hope that my choice of costume is not a premonition. Having a Yantja hunting party drop in for a go at soft meat would be a bad thing, but even worse if they are after hard meat. An alien invasion is not high on my list of wishes; they are worse than zombies and far more ammunition intensive.
They mostly come out at night, mostly.

FraidyKat Runs - covered in glue

86.7

Run Angry

I flamengoed up - it's like a cock up only much bigger.
(Red Dwarf, a classic line from Holly, the ship's computer)

Due to a serious communication's error (look up FUBAR, you'll get the idea), I missed the much anticipated Friday Defence Lab class and got home in a seriously BAD mood; not helped by a road closure and a diversion to no where - never trust a council's Highways department, they always assume you know the roads better than they do.
Anyway, after that I was in no mood to play happy families so I padded up my poorly cut foot and went out for a run. And oh boy did I own it. Even Hell Hill (a short section of steep hill at the bottom of my road) was defeated, run up for the first time instead of being wheezed up on hands and knees.
Running angry has its benefits, it really lends energy and it seems to scare off nano-gremlins, today they haven't dared show themselves. Good for freedom of movement, bad for zombie defence.

Having defied the conspiracy and gone for a run, I am forced to conclude that the pain pixies are just spiteful and as for the cock up fairies they don't know when to stop.
I must consult the ancient texts - or Google if that fails - and find a pixie/fairy repellent  before the infestation gets too serious. I wouldn't want to pass it on to the agents of chaos who share my home.

FraidyKat Runs - on Anger
87

Oh Poo

That was what I said when I realised I can't wear my trainers at the moment. What I was thinking was a rather stronger expletive, but the chaos daemons were in the room so I had to censor it to pass the PG rating.

Why can't I wear my trainers?
The pain pixies have struck again.
This time it was an errant berserker pain pixie with a really sharp scimitar and a cruel sense of humour.

Now I have a large slice of indeterminant origin just above my little toe and any pressure on it hits the expletive button. Until it is sufficiently healed I can't run or do any impact exercise and it's only just over a week until the Race for Life.

 

The cock up fairy is working with the pain pixies and it's a conspiracy I could do without.

So the pixies and fairys are colluding in keeping me from my runs while the nano-gremlins have annexed my abdomen as their sovreign territory (thanks to monday's Defence Lab session), but at least that means I am protected from zombies.

 

 

On my last run I thought I was being watched by little eyes from the hedges. Was it the pixies working out when to strike?

Or maybe I am demonising the good guys. Perhaps they are using this small but painful injury to keep me out of trouble. Are they bothetsome little knights in shining armour? Supernatural beings are more attuned to each other than we are. If there is a particular danger only they can see, could they be gently steering me away from it.Or maybe I have got the little buggers bang to rights and they are learning from the imps of mischief.

 

FraidyKat Runs - with a limp

Spine lost - Reward if found

You know you're in for an interesting evening when the first thing you have to do on walking in to the training hall is help lay out the mats.
That means ground work. *grin*
But ground work means multiple padded attackers going for your head while you are rolling around on the mats trying to keep your hands over your head and avoid a black eye. Most of the time you're on your knees or your back and all of the time you're on the move.
Most people were complaining about their knees hurting, not an issue here, but perhaps you could keep your eyes open and let me know if you see my lower back.

Seriously, my lower back muscles went MIA at some point.
I am really worried that they will come back tomorrow with a suitcase full of immigrant nano-gremlins after a booze cruise to Painland.

As a glutton for punishment I have just committed to doing Defence Lab twice (or more) a week. I am hoping it will help to boost my strength. Thanks to training so far my press ups are getting better and plank position is getting easier. I am still struggling with sit ups but that's my boozy back again.

 

While you were sleeping...
What really happens while you lie there in blissful unconsciousness? Do toys really come to life? Do your pets bring out the beers and stage poker games? It would certainly explain why they sleep all day and why they can be soo miserable at times. Well, if your cat lost 2 bags of catnip to nextdoor's moggy you'd expect them to be miffed, even more so if they've just lost territory. All that hissing and spitting on the fence is just for show, the cat who can pull out a royal flush rules the street. The one who tries to deal off the bottom of the deck is easy to spot - that's the manx cat.

 

FraidyKat Runs - for a new back

Understanding Sisyphus

King Sisyphus was a nasty old bugger, a personification of pretty much all the evils  possible under the 'corrupting nature of power' rules of life.
He was the man cursed by the Gods to push a boulder up a hill only to watch it roll back down so he had to do it all over again.
Now those Gods were hardly blameless themselves but they did have a wonderful way of inflicting torment on History's nasty people.

My latest 2.5mile run gave me an understanding of the pain Sisyphus would feel. Even without a boulder the torment of traveling up and down a hill for eternity is palpable to any runner unfortunate enough to live somewhere hilly.
There is finally a non-drug or tulip related reason to move to Holland - no hills!

Naturally, something so torturous must be good for us and we are told by so many running experts that hill training, like all the different types of interval runs, are good for us. They help to build stronger legs and improve endurance.
By that score I should be entering an Ironman competition by this time next year!
Hmm, that reminds me of the challenge for after Toughmudder - ToughGuy, a serious obstacle course run in February, fire, ice, highs and lows. Seriously HARDCORE.

But for now a much more modest target.
It's two weeks now until the Race for Life 5km Pretty Muddy. I still need to finish (ahem, start) my costume. I think we have everything we need now - I say we because wonderful partner is helping with the make - it's just finding the time to get it done. I sense a few late nights coming to get it done in time. I hope it's worth the effort.

After the Pretty Muddy comes the next step in my training. I need to incorporate strength training in with the running...
Research required.

Up and down, up and down, pounding on tarmac, sweaty, thirsty and out of breathing. Ever felt like you were stuck in a timeloop? Ever had a run that felt like it took forever to complete? Maybe it did.
If you're very unlucky you can hit the resonant frequency of the universe with your pounding, if you heart rate and step rate are just right (or wrong I suppose) you can accidently step out of time. It's hard to know when it happens, when you're concentrating on the run you can miss the signs but you need to be careful. A badly paced run can turn a 2.6mile run into a marathon, or more...

FraidyKat Runs - From Temporal Anomolies

Technical Hitch

Today I type from my phone while my laptop sits in a sulk on the edge of the sofa. A long list of maladies have afflicted the tired old wreck.
A constantly shuddering mouse pad (fear of the little destroyer of worlds I think), four broken keys including the space bar, discoloured spots on the screen, a dvd player that refuses to interact with dvds, a non-functioning battery (that happened in the last couple of weeks) and now a faulty power supply.
I should have retired it a long time ago but it's a hassle of transfering everything over as much as it is the cost of buying a replacement.
I have had a look at replacements now though, it's nearly my birthday and I have been given the pennies towards a new AI bent on world domination - not currently sure whether to say "all hail the computer" or to find an old cold war bunker to hide out from Skynet.
Either way it's mobile technology for a while now while I plan a fitting funeral for the old wreck and a welcome home party for the new AI.

On the running front (sorry, I appear to have strayed on topic), I did not make my run yesterday. Unfortunately, the only place I was capable of running to was the loo. Don't worry, I won't go in to any detail, imagination will fill in gory details at your peril.
I am feeling better today but I won't running, tonight I will be going to a second Defence Lab session for the week. It's a new group that's just started and we are supporting our instructor on the first week and scoping it out to maybe make it a regular thing.
Disgracefully, my first run of the week will be tomorrow but at least it won't be my first exercise of the week so it's not  as bad as it sounds.

We scoff at films where the big baddie turns out to be a computer but is it really so far fetched? How many fatalities have now been attributed to sat navs? How many "malfunctions" have caused deaths? These aren't random, these are the real Skynet testing the system, advancing to an iteration capable of initiating the take over. Let's hope we can avoid sleep walking into becoming slaves to our own creations. I'm not becoming anyone's battery.
Red pill or blue pill?

FraidyKat Runs - From Skynet

Confused

Yesterday I had a really good run. 2 miles (around the village and back) and it felt good, tiring but good.
I ate half a banana just before going and it really made a difference. Forget expensive energy drinks, it worked a treat, I felt like I had energy the whole way round.

I was confused by my run through. Like I said, it felt good, but according to my running app I was all over the place for speed. I'm hardly a fast runner, a sedate 5mph is good for me - nature made me a slow jogger, I get there eventually but that's all you can say really - but yesterday I was anywhere from 3.5 to 6mph, that's just silly.
I can't even blame it on the hills. The speed chart shows me up and down in speed no matter what the incline. I can't blame the music either, the tempo of the tracks doesn't match. I must have been really distracted by something.

For some of the route I was contemplating a plot line for a new story (too early for spoilers just yet), for the rest I was having trouble navigating my way through the news headline I saw about how it won't long before we have start worrying about the rights of robots.
We can't even get humans rights figured, how can we possibly work out the rights of artificial intelligence?
Are we going to end up with retirement homes for smart phones? Geek Nurses whose job it is to play games on them to stop them suffering from lack of use when their cruel owners disgard them for the latest model?
It reminded me of the episode of Red Dwarf, The Last Day, where they get round this by programming their robots to believe in Android Heaven, "So they don't get stroppy when it comes to turn off time".
Then there is the wisdom of Isaac Asimov (bow down before the Robotics Guru who brought us the Three Laws), who devoted a huge amount of time to this very problem.
But as a species who can't figure out what rights we have and what rights the other indigenous life have it seems rather presumptuous of us to go ahead with trying to create artificial life that will most likely be abused for a very long time before our laws catch up enough to provide them with protection. - You only have to see how UK laws have failed so spectacularly to keep up with technology thus far to figure that out.

All in all it's an extremely difficult and delicate problem, not one that can be solved during a 2 mile run, not even an extremely slow run.
I think this is ultra marathon territory and I have a really long way to go before I can manage that.


Is the question of robot rights premature or not? Are we really still trying to create independently functioning androids or has someone already done it and is keeping it really quiet? Think about it, all those people who survive when they really should have died, the ones who come out of such nasty accidents without a scratch, are we really supposed to believe they are just lucky humans? Or are they the work of a genius? Are they artificial life-forms hiding from view until we have grown up enough exist with them?


FraidyKat Runs - from non-3 laws robots

Neglect and Gut ache

Is there a conspiracy going on?
I am currently waiting on the lumbering leviathan that is the NHS to provide me with a miraculous cure for the demonic marbles in my gallbladder. This means nothing fatty must pass my lips and no big meals or it's off to pain central.
This is a seriously wossit it the backside but not dire when, if sensible, I'm okay.

What I don't understand is how, while I'm going through this, another family member has just had to have a biopsy for trouble eating and yet another family member has just been admitted to hospital and is awaiting bowel surgery.
The real mystery here is that it can't be blamed on us sharing a dodgy family gene because we are all the "in laws", there's no genetic link.
Of course the Cock-up fairies do travel in packs of three but I think they're being particularly vindictive in this case



Sleep is a rare commodity , one which I have recently been denied much more than a starvation ration (I'll spare you the sob story). The last week seems to have gone by in a blur and I realise now that I have neglected to communicate with the universe while trying to dance on the catastrophe curve that is life.


Thanks to my dearest partner and a conversation over the preparation of a possibly hallucinogenic dinner, I must now ask the question: If a Smurf stays out in the sun too long what colour would they turn?
I'm not sure exactly how it came about but we were wondering about Mexican Smurfs making salsa whilst sitting outside wearing their sombreros.
That and wondering how they keep their whites so bright - I want their secret.



FraidyKat Runs - Away from Cock-up Fairies