Strength, or the fear of it's lack

So I completed the Pretty Muddy Race for Life. It was a good start, proof I can get out there and do things, but it was only a start.
This morning I had another look at the ToughMudder and oh boy am I rattled.
Just check out some of the obstacles and you'll see why. Toughmudder is evil!
Some of those are just about team work, pulling each other over high walls and out of mud quagmires, but there is a lot of upper body strength needed, rope climbing and monkey rungs, and since I can barely do push ups and I can't do any pull ups (embarrassing but true), my training plan needs a lot of modification to include weight training as well as running.
Strength AND Endurance are key to this challenge; but however long it takes the goal is to complete it.
I have made progress to get this far but now to step it up and put the really hard work in... I'll need it to complete this:

Yes, it's harsh and it's only one of many.

FraidyKat is really pushing the bounds of insanity by daring to believe that this is achievable.
But please don't read too much into that, FraidyKat also believes in sexist housework pixies, nano-gremlins and runner munching vampires - life is far more interesting in this world than the real world, just ask the ninja elephants.


Those mutant moles are still at it, I think they're building a luxury mansion under the garden, complete with four car garage and swmimming pool. The spoils heaps are visible on google earth and the council is investigating whether they need planning permission!
I'm not sure whether it's a case for exterminators or bailiffs but they need to be got rid of before the mountain landscape become impassable.

FraidyKat Runs - In fear of impossible goals

Race for Life - The Aftermath

I did it! A 5km run with 8 obstacles in the pouring rain. Complete, done, goal acheived.
Okay, so I didn't actually run it all, I did have to walk some, but I did complete it and in fancy dress.

This the before photo of my Predator costume. Hours of shaping, forming and painting foam went into it.
It turned out that I was the only person there who was in serious costume, most people were just in pink with a few tutus and bunny ears thrown in. The last Race for Life event I went to had a lot of costumes so I was surprised but it meant I really stood out. I had random people taking photos of me.
The really weird thing was that most of the women who commented thought it was good but had no idea what it was while the spectating men who noticed knew exactly what I was. Horror classic gender inequality, expressed in a simple but telling real world experience.

And then we get to this:

I was covered in gritty mud, soaked, the PVA coating on the foam had run (so much for non-washable craft glue, hah, seriously mis-sold shame on you Hobbycraft), but it felt good.
The meticulously shaped foam blades on the wrist gauntlet broke on the third obstacle, three sets of netting that had to be crawled under, but that was after the sadistic second obstacle that completely filled my trainers with muddy water. I squelched for 4 1/2km.
There was also a series of inflable pink tubes to leap over, a tunnel to crawl through, an elastic cable web to find a route through, a cargo net climb (only 10foot high but people were making such a meal of it I had to wait in a queue for twenty minutes to spend ten seconds scaling it and getting over the other side), a 5 inch deep pool of muddy water which had to be crawled through to get under the ropes and finally up another cargo net and slide down into yet more muddy water just twenty yards from the finish (to make sure you really were muddy and wet at the end.
Then it was medal and bottle of water time.


To recap recent history, six months ago simply getting out of bed was painful enough to make me cry (major sciatica brought on by the arrival of the younger Chaos Daemon). I spent a small fortune on Chiropractic treatment - thank you Peter at Clifton Road Chiropractic - while waiting for an NHS physio referal, and slowly but surely I improved.
Now, after restarting exercise and being careful about what I eat, I have gone from struggling to make 5m to completing 5km and dropped 3stone (19kg).
I still have a long way to go, the next major goal is to complete a 12mile (19km) obstacle course in October and drop another 2stone by early next year.
It's a big challenge, but in life, if it's easy it's probably not worth it.


Attack of the mutant moles!
Our lawn is currently like the result of a really weird industrial chemical spill. After rollering there are many round patches of bare ground where there should be grass, and now new molehills are appearing on the otherside of the lawn. And these are no ordinary molehlls, some are twice the size they should be and multiplying rapidly.
Are they giant mutant moles? Or are the goblins back, trying a new tactic after their diasterous attempt at tunneling that had them hit the canal and (almost certainly) drown.
Whoever they are, I don't appreciate their attempts to make a scale model of the Himalayas in my garden.


FraidyKat runs - covered in mud

Oh Poo

That was what I said when I realised I can't wear my trainers at the moment. What I was thinking was a rather stronger expletive, but the chaos daemons were in the room so I had to censor it to pass the PG rating.

Why can't I wear my trainers?
The pain pixies have struck again.
This time it was an errant berserker pain pixie with a really sharp scimitar and a cruel sense of humour.

Now I have a large slice of indeterminant origin just above my little toe and any pressure on it hits the expletive button. Until it is sufficiently healed I can't run or do any impact exercise and it's only just over a week until the Race for Life.

 

The cock up fairy is working with the pain pixies and it's a conspiracy I could do without.

So the pixies and fairys are colluding in keeping me from my runs while the nano-gremlins have annexed my abdomen as their sovreign territory (thanks to monday's Defence Lab session), but at least that means I am protected from zombies.

 

 

On my last run I thought I was being watched by little eyes from the hedges. Was it the pixies working out when to strike?

Or maybe I am demonising the good guys. Perhaps they are using this small but painful injury to keep me out of trouble. Are they bothetsome little knights in shining armour? Supernatural beings are more attuned to each other than we are. If there is a particular danger only they can see, could they be gently steering me away from it.Or maybe I have got the little buggers bang to rights and they are learning from the imps of mischief.

 

FraidyKat Runs - with a limp

New Toy! Trainer review part 2

The evening run has just been completed.
Happy face :-)

It was not my best run by a long way, but hey I was feeling a bit wiped out before I began so I won't blame that on anything but me.

Back to the trainers - the brand spanking new Asics Fortes, the choice of big runners.
Yes, we do exist! Not all runners are skinny and you don't have to be thin to run. Where do you think earthquakes come from? That's when we fall over.
Ahem, rant over, back to the shoes.

(as modelled by the resident agent of Chaos who managed to put them on before I was able to get near them)


They are now officially christened with a 2 miler to the village and back.
Purists would say they are heavy, but then you can be a minimalist or have support and cushioning, I prefer the later so a few extra ounces aren't a minus as far as I'm concerned.
They certainly have more bounce than my old trainers (although that's probably just age related - erm, the trainers not me, I think) and I felt cofortable in them. They were a little snug but I'll be very surprised if they don't loosen up after a few more miles.
I really hope they have the longevity of the old trainers.

Thumbs up to the Fortes.


Thanks to some surprisingly clear logic from the other half (thank you darling) I will refrain from the ceremonial binning of the old trainers and instead keep them for use at least in the Pretty Muddy Race for Life so as not to destroy my trainers so soon after getting. And closer to the time I will choose which to wear in the other events I enter this year.

There be Kobolds in the countryside, beware.
They are not just in the house causing mess, they are also in the fields.
Ewes and lambs one side of the road, fattening calves on the other, that's the rule on my run. So why today had two ewes taken their offspring on a trip across the road into the calves field? I can only assume the Kobolds chased them there while trying to catch their dinner.
We will have to get the exterminators in to clear the infestation before it gets out of control.


FraidyKat runs - with Chaos in her wake

Spinning around

The weather forecast for tomorrow is: outbreaks of gremlins, followed by scatterings of zombies and the occasional shower of agonised whimpering.

My head is spinning and I'm only just sanitised following another good workout out that left me bathed in salty goodness.

The spin is due to a wonderful thing ominously known as "the mechanic". A mind boggling defensive move that doubles as an attack. Done well you're just likely to mesmerise your attacker as you are to break quite a few bones in his hands when he (or she) throws that punch.
This evening though I think anyone attacking me would be incapacitated by falling to the floor in fits of giggles. It was not a graceful sight!

On the plus side, I am tolerably sure that by the time I wake up tomorrow I will be totally impervious to Zombies :-)
Those nano-gremlin colonies are getting a feast of lactic acid and rapidly multiplying, especially in my poor abused shoulders.
-Quick madness of FraidyKat back track: Nano-Gremlins inhabit exercise addicts and live on lactic acid. They're the real reason you hurt after working out. They also taste really bad and combined with the acid make a person really unpalatable to Zombies.-
Survive the apocalypse, exercise to exhaustion!

Ahem, back to slightly less insane musings.
The Toddler Snot Bug has all but gone and I am determined to get back on track with the running.
I have also been inspired for the Race for Life - I shall be running in costume as a Predator (Hunting down cancer and all that jazz).
Currently still figuring out how to make said costume but the plan is taking shape.
I also now have a confirmed team of 4 for October's ToughMudder. Insanity likes company.

Brain fried by conspiracy theories? Confused by alien encounters and ghostly visitations? Cure that mental disturbance with a regular dose of the miracle drug "Cynicism".
Available in most good educational establishments and reputable websites.
Beware imitations, "Paranoia" is a dangerous drug and unscrupulous dealers are packaging it as seemingly healthy Information Injections.
Stay safe, keep a pack of Cynicism in your medicine cabinet.

FraidyKat Runs - for cover

Training Begins

That's it, I am now committed.
Day 1 of week 1 has been completed. Who knows where such humble beginnings can lead, after all everyone has to start somewhere.
Even Andrew Jordon had to drive on L plates once! (if you don't know who he is look up BritishTouringCarChampionship )



To keep me on the straight and narrow I have entered a short race for an intermediate challenge. To make sure I am doing something good it is the Pretty Muddy Race for Life, a 5km run with obstacles to raise money for Cancer Research.
See my begging page for the shameless money grabbing sponsorship request that goes with running for such a good cause.As always there is no obligation on anyone to follow the link but the warm fussy feeling that goes with generosity is priceless.

It's not until 28th June so I have a little while to settle back into running but I am sure time will sneak up and ambush me in a lightening fast attack, such is times way of behaving.

If you have any suggestions for an appropriate costume for FraidyKat please do comment - the theme is traditionally pink but after that anything (within the bounds of UK law) goes...


Now I just have to get a running playlist put together. FraidyKat has decidedly dodgy taste in music so it could be interesting.
Let's see now, what's currently on my phone?
Lady GaGa, Pink, Thunder and Blues Traveller. Hmm, I'm running light on tunes.
Dance music is good to run to when you're flagging, it provides a strong beat to get your pace.
Rock provides the anger to light the flare when you have to dig deep to get to the finish.
Pop for the cheerful runs in good weather.
Audio comedy (Goon show is my non-PC favourite) to keeping you smiling in the wind and rain.

The calibrated mark 1 weather detector (also known as the window), shows blue sky and sun so perhaps some pop or dance. 


The weather is turning for the better so now we are entering dragon season.
Those pesky invisible dragons are small but painfully effective if you forget your anti-dragon clean. Cold blooded reptiles, they need the sun to help them take flight and the only evidence of them is the faint shimmer in the air that most of us know as heat haze. Their breath weapon is a clear flame whose poisonous touch turns skin a painful red and melts icecream.
Ever wondered what the sun factor rating on creams means? It is the number of dragons the cream will defeat before becoming ineffective.


FraidyKat Runs - to beat cancer