Groin Strain and the Curse of Success

These are the two things on my mind right now. Unconnected, I think, but equally present.

The groin strain in the unpleasant presence in my life, striking after what should have been an easy 2.5miler but reduced me to a pained grimace for the rest of the day.
Today it seems to have eased to a low grade ache but I suspect it will return with vengence if I try anything so stupid as moving today.
Yesterday it was a sharp and persistant pain right at the top of the thigh moving from ouch to #$/#@! When I twisted the wrong way. It can be caused by many things but in my case I believe it to be a muscle weakness at the hip (old war wound) so now I must remember all those strengthening exercises, the ones on all fours that look like aerobics meets the kama sutra - donkey kicks, fire hydrants, adductor stretches.
New resolution, hip strengthening every day - or forget the running and say hello to everyday pain, not much choice really.

The curse of success?
Say hello to a Defence Lab student of the year! Woohoo! Awesome. I think my instructor took leave of his senses with that decision but I am serious chuffed, I've never got something like that before.
But, of course, there is a downside.
Everyone knows it's me, they might wonder why I got it and not them and I can't help but feel like it puts eyes on me. 'No pressure but you're now officially the teacher's pet' - FraidyKat makes a hopeless pet, too high maintenance and heavy on furnishings.
It's a point of pride that I always tried my hardest anyway but now I have to pull even more out of the bag just to keep up.

Back in my dubious reality, yesterday's run along the canal hinted at something sinister in the works, and unexplained ripple in the water. Unless Nessie has migrated from the Loch there may be something nasty lurking under the surface.

FraidyKat Runs - from recogition

Noticing Weight Loss

It's been a long time since my last post, sorry, life has been a bit crazier than usual.
Anyway, weight loss...

It's a weird thing to be ticking down the numbers on the scale and not really appreciating the change.
I've had friends and family telling me how slim I look but that's just their opinion.
There is a massive bin bag full of clothes to get rid of because they are too big but that's just stuff.
My runs have got quicker by a full minute a mile but that could be purely down to training.

Then FraidyKat and dear partner got an amazing opportunity to go to the first DefenceLab World Conference - thanks to her amazing instructor.
That was just awesome, the chance to train with some incredible martial artists.
But here's where it hit home: The conference had a formal dinner and award ceremony in the evening and due to the weight loss I HAD NOTHING TO WEAR!!! Disaster! I dug into the dark and dangerous recesses of the wardrobe, fighting witches and befriending lions on the way, and in desperation tried on a dress that hadn't fitted in 15years. IT FITS! Miracle of miracles, it was like finding a Wish Spell in a charity shop bargain box.
All good. After a day training we glammed up and headed to the bar. On the way there I popped in to the Ladies room and spotted a lady with fab green dreads and an hourglass figure in a hugging black dress. I was instantly jealous,  then I was confused, I was looking in the mirror!
How had I not noticed it before? Okay, the dreads are only a few days old (they match the club colours if you're wondering why green) but how did I not notice the body swap? All this time my brain has been doing some stealth photoshop to my detriment.
11months ago I was 106kg, today I tip the scales at 79kg - in old money that's nearly 4 1/2 stone gone. That's a massive shock. FraidyKat has produced 27 Adipose babies and not noticed any of them escaping out of the window.

Now dear partner is laughing (and FraidyKat will soon be guilty of hubby bashing) at my total ignorance of the gradual change of my body. The words "I told you so" are on his lips.
It turns out that losing the weight is only half of the battle, stopping your brain from sabotaging your achievements with nonrecogition is the war winner.

The Adiposian First Family are back harvesting Earth for children. They are major shareholders in virtually every big selling diet brand and fast food company, using their influence to prevent us from ever rendering them infertile.
The conspiracy is so plain to see and we are seemingly helpless against them.

FraidyKat Runs - for the hourglass

The Pain! (A review of Regiment Fitness)

Yes, I know, I tried out Regiment Fitness on Saturday and here it is Tuesday and I'm only just telling you how it went. Sorry, I've been too busy feeling sorry for myself.

So, Regiment Fitness...
Bright and early (ish) I turned up at the local park and, after leaving dear partner and the chaos daemons at the playground, made my way to the liveried van and waiting instructor.
He was friendly, professional and encouarging from the onset. There were only three of us there, the class only kicked off a few weeks ago so it's no surprise, but if there is any justice it will soon become a rather larger group because, oh boy, is it hardcore.
Don't get me wrong, for each exercise there is an easy and a hard option and for the running parts a short and long distance, you make it as hard as you like. Unfortunately, I forgot that it's been several years since I did any weightlifting and I may have overdone the squats just slightly - FraidyKat has spent the last three days swearing at stairs because going down has been agony, the nano-gremlins and pain pixies have been partying in my quads since Saturday afternoon.
Despite the pain I shall definitely been going back this week, it was the right sort of pain, muscle exhaustion not injury and it was totally my fault for not stepping it down when I should have.
 And now I'm trying to justify the monthly cost of the classes. It's actually a really good deal, less than a gym membership for unlimited classes where ever you want to take them, I'm only hesitant because I'm already paying for Defence Lab and pennies are tight in FraidyKat's house.

Conclusion: If you have any thoughts of trying a military bootcamp class (and even if you don't), go to Groupon and get the voucher for 5 really cheap sessions. It was great fun and I can't wait until Saturday to torture myself again under the watchful tuition of a strapping military veteran - supporting our returned heroes and getting fit in the great outdoors is a great combination.



Elsewhere in FraidyKat's universe  it's harvest time. Round 1 of the fruit harvest, Damsons and Plums. I love having fruit trees in the garden, it's free food. You do nothing all year and then suddenly there's the frantic harvest to get hold of nature's sweeties. Yum.
We were a bit too late for the Plums :-(, they should have been picked as soon as we got back from Scotland but the time was just not there and the Wasps got to them first. We only salvaged half a dozen plums from the tree.
 The Damsons were a different story. Seven jars of jam, two bottles of gin and two gallons of wine. There would have been more but we were caught short of sugar and yeast and the remains are spoiling, so it's going in the composter for the vegetable garden.
Next will be the apple trees, mmm cider, and pear trees (all for dear partner, FraidyKat doesn't do pears, ickky).

I bring up the fruit harvest because I have returned to thinking about my diet and nutrition.
Last week I had my pre-op assessment and tests so I am expecting to go in for my gallbladder operation in the next couple of weeks (fingers crossed). This brings with it tantalising promise of freedom from the low fat purgatory I have found myself in, but I must not fall into the trap so many other people do and gain weight post-op. Freedom to eat the foods so long forbidden is a powerful draw, I just hope that fat loss is a bigger draw and I am able to just tweak the diet rather than abandon it.



We seem to be experiencing an explosion in the rabbit population at the moment, what is feeding this? Is it the windfall apples? They have been battling the wasps for the honour.
It's a battle to see who wins the rights to the garden.
The mice have already lost the battle, our Mogs has seen to that, last night we received one and a half mice as a gift - it's always the half that's hard, have you just missed the other half? Are you just about to tread on it?
But there's a new contender in the vicinity, a heavy weight that even Mogs won't dare challenge. There's a new Badger Set at the bottom of the paddock. The real bosses of the rural lands have arrived and they're just toying with the rabbits, letting them think they're in charge while it's convenient, or maybe they just fancy apples right now.


FraidyKat runs - with pain

Sally is evil

Oh yes, behind that pretty girl's name hides a monster.
Go on to youtube and look up Moby's Green Sally Up. You might recognise it from Gone in Sixty Seconds. I used to like the song, it has a good beat and yet something laid back about it.
Well, that was before Sally was perverted onto a workout torture by the intstructors at Defence Lab.

Here's the evil group version - everyone get into a circle facing in (so you can see the pain to come) and get into press up position. Every time you hear Green Sally Up you push up, every time you hear Green Sally Down you lower yourself down (but not all the way, only to the normal bottom of a press up). The person who lasts the longest is the most likely to need surgery for torn arm muscles. The person who gives up first is probably the sanest in the room. Our senior instructor, Mikey, was the only one to manage the whole song.

But that was last night. This morning, still aching from Sally, FraidyKat lined up to get her second grade, a simple yellow band with the Defence Lab logo emblazoned on it. It is something so small that means so much and oh boy were we worked hard to get it. Officially we won't know until Monday if we have made the grade but they don't let you attempt it if they don't believe you are good enough to get it.

This makes FraidyKat feel a little better. I still have a lot of work to do but the diet is planned - I will publish it later - and so is the new workout schedule. This weekend I shop for the food, Monday I start following or plan. I suppose I should say we, dear partner is going to be joining me on a slightly modified diet of his own.
I will let you know it goes.

Today the air is suspiciously sweet, there is no odour of rotting flesh. Where have all the zombies gone? Have they found a nice cold, dark, crypt to share with the vampires? Hmm, I must check the cellar to make sure they are lurking under my feet.

FraidyKat Runs - Away from Sally

Run Angry

I flamengoed up - it's like a cock up only much bigger.
(Red Dwarf, a classic line from Holly, the ship's computer)

Due to a serious communication's error (look up FUBAR, you'll get the idea), I missed the much anticipated Friday Defence Lab class and got home in a seriously BAD mood; not helped by a road closure and a diversion to no where - never trust a council's Highways department, they always assume you know the roads better than they do.
Anyway, after that I was in no mood to play happy families so I padded up my poorly cut foot and went out for a run. And oh boy did I own it. Even Hell Hill (a short section of steep hill at the bottom of my road) was defeated, run up for the first time instead of being wheezed up on hands and knees.
Running angry has its benefits, it really lends energy and it seems to scare off nano-gremlins, today they haven't dared show themselves. Good for freedom of movement, bad for zombie defence.

Having defied the conspiracy and gone for a run, I am forced to conclude that the pain pixies are just spiteful and as for the cock up fairies they don't know when to stop.
I must consult the ancient texts - or Google if that fails - and find a pixie/fairy repellent  before the infestation gets too serious. I wouldn't want to pass it on to the agents of chaos who share my home.

FraidyKat Runs - on Anger
87

Oh Poo

That was what I said when I realised I can't wear my trainers at the moment. What I was thinking was a rather stronger expletive, but the chaos daemons were in the room so I had to censor it to pass the PG rating.

Why can't I wear my trainers?
The pain pixies have struck again.
This time it was an errant berserker pain pixie with a really sharp scimitar and a cruel sense of humour.

Now I have a large slice of indeterminant origin just above my little toe and any pressure on it hits the expletive button. Until it is sufficiently healed I can't run or do any impact exercise and it's only just over a week until the Race for Life.

 

The cock up fairy is working with the pain pixies and it's a conspiracy I could do without.

So the pixies and fairys are colluding in keeping me from my runs while the nano-gremlins have annexed my abdomen as their sovreign territory (thanks to monday's Defence Lab session), but at least that means I am protected from zombies.

 

 

On my last run I thought I was being watched by little eyes from the hedges. Was it the pixies working out when to strike?

Or maybe I am demonising the good guys. Perhaps they are using this small but painful injury to keep me out of trouble. Are they bothetsome little knights in shining armour? Supernatural beings are more attuned to each other than we are. If there is a particular danger only they can see, could they be gently steering me away from it.Or maybe I have got the little buggers bang to rights and they are learning from the imps of mischief.

 

FraidyKat Runs - with a limp

Spine lost - Reward if found

You know you're in for an interesting evening when the first thing you have to do on walking in to the training hall is help lay out the mats.
That means ground work. *grin*
But ground work means multiple padded attackers going for your head while you are rolling around on the mats trying to keep your hands over your head and avoid a black eye. Most of the time you're on your knees or your back and all of the time you're on the move.
Most people were complaining about their knees hurting, not an issue here, but perhaps you could keep your eyes open and let me know if you see my lower back.

Seriously, my lower back muscles went MIA at some point.
I am really worried that they will come back tomorrow with a suitcase full of immigrant nano-gremlins after a booze cruise to Painland.

As a glutton for punishment I have just committed to doing Defence Lab twice (or more) a week. I am hoping it will help to boost my strength. Thanks to training so far my press ups are getting better and plank position is getting easier. I am still struggling with sit ups but that's my boozy back again.

 

While you were sleeping...
What really happens while you lie there in blissful unconsciousness? Do toys really come to life? Do your pets bring out the beers and stage poker games? It would certainly explain why they sleep all day and why they can be soo miserable at times. Well, if your cat lost 2 bags of catnip to nextdoor's moggy you'd expect them to be miffed, even more so if they've just lost territory. All that hissing and spitting on the fence is just for show, the cat who can pull out a royal flush rules the street. The one who tries to deal off the bottom of the deck is easy to spot - that's the manx cat.

 

FraidyKat Runs - for a new back

Grin!

Here's why FraidyKat is grinning:

That's my first grade for Defence Lab.
It's the easy one, just the very basic stuff we all learned in the last three months.
Before the Chaos Agents arrived FraidyKat studied Kung Fu and reached Purple Sash (that's the sixth grade - three more would have got me to Black), so technically I guess I shouldn't be too chuffed yet, I've got a long way to go to equal that standard, but it's always good to learn something new.


When in doubt, learn something new or do something that scares you. Every day.
Live life like the adventure it is - enjoy it because no one ever gets out alive!



What is it with the weather right now?
A very British question, I must say, but apt.
For the last couple of days it's been brilliant sunshine one minute and lashing down with rain the next. I have the distinct impression that a run tonight will inevitably lead to a soaking.
I have nothing against showers, I would rather be FraidyKat than SmellyKat, but for preference hot beats cold. Dear partner accuses me of liking the shower scolding hot and complains that it's always too hot when he climbs in (wuss), personally I don't see the problem.
I'm just testing the speed of running like a scolded Kat!


So, the reservoirs are full, the water table is high and the rivers are running well. Poseidon is laughing at the metoffice and toying with environmentalists and their predictions of watery disaster.
The old Gods are rising once again. They have tolerated the power hungry monotheistic beliefs while they have slumbered but now they begin to awaken once more and they are letting their presence be felt.
Sharpen those sickles and polish the sacrificial altars, if they decide to wake up fully we'll be in trouble if we're unprepared.
Watch out for vengeful lightening and avoiding wearing metal armour!


FraidyKat Runs - for Adventure

Instant Gratification Frustration

Once upon a time it was a chore to connect to the internet. Dial up service and getting a cup of tea while the page you wanted loaded.
If you wanted to check your bank balance you had to go into town, find a cash point, hope it was in service, avoid the beggars and then have to slope home with the bad news that you were broke.
These days it's much simpler, take your phone out of your pocket, make sure you have signal, sign in to the app and there you go. You never even got off the sofa, you lazy ****.

So it's very frustrating to be taken back to the go slow but also somehow nostalgic.
Like sitting down with an original Gameboy and playing Tetris. It was blocky and simple and the music was painfully repetitive but it was ssooo addictive - I have wasted days playing that game.

Good old days, but we do seem to have got out of the habit of waiting, even post needs to be next day before noon or we think it's a long time.

So after an adrenaline (and sweat) soaked Defence Lab grading, it was with mixed feelings that I received the news that I and all my classmates would have to wait until our next lesson to find out how we did.

I wanted to know straight away how I had done, I wanted to wait until the next lesson fearing I had messed up.
I realised how accustomed I have become to instant answers, the instant results.

Therein lies the root of the problem with modern attitudes to how we live our lives.
Instant answers, instant results, instant improvement. But that's not what happens outside of our little artificial bubble of technological life.
Reality is mostly much slower on the uptake, it needs repetition and graduation, incremental results too small for us to see as they happen.

There is no magic pill to go from fat to fab, or couch potato to fitness guru.
It's time to forget the fibre optic broadband and go back to dial up.
The end result is just the same, only the loading time is different.


And I got a text message from my instructor earlier (he only made us wait a few hours instead of a few days), I passed :-) We all did, well done to all.



The supernatural is suspiciously quiet today. What is making all the creatures of myth and fable hide away? Is there something hiding in the shadows that's so much worse than they are that it's forced them into hiding? Is this just National Evil Creature's Day Off? Or is my second sight failing me? Perhaps the agents of Chaos are doing their bit and frightening them away from the house , just like little Mogs frightens the mice away.
Hmm, perhaps I need to keep watch for the Elder Chaos Agent leaving Kobolds on the doormat when she should be playing in the sandpit.


FraidyKat Runs - for Tetris

50 Shades of Gray is a Dulux Colour Chart

If you want to inject some spice into your life forget the dubious paints and join a martial arts group as a couple.
There's nothing quite like the little smile on his face as the punch comes your way - or the satisfaction of knowing it's your turn next so you can give back exactly what you just got with interest.
Of course any particularly enthusiastic connections may leave you wondering if you over spiced the chicken or whether you remembered to buy that favourite lunch box treat. Then again, you might find yourself remembering a few barriers to domestic bliss and perhaps let him know that the pixies are in need of a pay rise.

Those terrible sexist pixies get lax when they feel under paid, they forget to put underwear in laundry baskets and rubbish in the bins.
I only say the pixies are sexist because they only seem to work for men and children. They don't work for any of the women in my family, we have to do housework for ourselves.
Although, I have heard a malicious rumour that when it comes to relationship break ups pixies can be fickle and have a tendency to abandon their male Bosses to redress the balance. - Not that I am jealous enough of my partner's helpers to leave him just for them!

But anyway, early night tonight, I must attempt to explore the interior of the mysterious Land of Sleep. Ever since the youngest agent of Chaos came to live among us (Offspring mk2) I have been exiled to the shore with only occasional forays into the marginal marshland.
Tonight, however, I must make an extra special effort because tomorrow I will be doing my first Defence Lab grading (I'll report back tomorrow and let you know how is goes).


Ode to Pixies

Pixie, pixie as I sleep, 
I pray for you my house to keep,
My floors to scrub,
My windows shine,
But if you can't then that's just fine,
I only ask that while I clean,
You put my partner's smelly socks in the laundry bin!


FraidyKat Runs - from housework