Hiatus

Somewhere in the last week I think I fell off the catastrophe curve. Now I'm bouncing and sliding down that slippery slope towards loathsome oblivion in obscurity.
I shall put my negativity down to some kind of delayed stress. Every day there is a new disaster in the family, surely there aren't many permutations of emergency left.
Chaos may be infinite and immortal but there is only so much that remains believable before soap opera scriptwriters begin to watch your every move for inspiration.

In amongst this dance of life my personal health goals have somewhat slipped (a beautiful understatement akin to the British economy being "a little under the weather" in the past few years).
Family obligations trump exercise goals and any diet gets all too easily thrown out of the window when faced with incessant travel back and forth through the country.

Now I'm back at home and I decided that whilst I wait for the next thing to go wrong I would get back on the wagon and take a trip to health city.
It turns out there has been an accident on the road - Irritating Illness, that sociopathic outlaw, has crashed his white van into a container lorry and spilled a whole load of nausea across the carriageway. That's going to delay the journey and make my passengers (self-pity, annoyance and apathy) far too vocal for my liking.
If I can find some services I'll get out of the traffic jam and chill for a while, just a day or two, until Irritating Illness has been rounded up by the police and sent back to jail.

That's it for the self-pity.
There are many people who have lives much harder than mine, all I have felt is a blip in serenity.


Time for therapy.
On goes the armour, bite and scratch proof layers that are easy to hose down and machine washable.
Weapons are readied, bludgeoning items, a selection of hammers, a solid wood rolling pin (great in tight corners, can be substituted for a frying pan if needed) and that beautifully balanced hatchet found by the wood pile.
Stout waterproof toe-capped boots
Lastly it's the gas mask to obscure the smell.
Sorted.
Let's go zombie hunting!


FraidyKat Runs - from poor excuses

Story Time 1.1 - Heir Hunt

WARNING: The following is not edited and there will be spelling and grammar mistakes. Sorry.
Please read forgivingly (and if you have the time corrections are welcomed).

It was long miles and when the only noise from the forest had been the quiet of nature for so long that Se-se dared to allow an exhausted Charlie to slow to a trot and finally a walk giving Se-se a chance to think. Only after hearing no shooting for even longer did she dare to take stock.

For a start the ships that appeared earlier in the day she knew were not scheduled. That was why a lot of the colonists had headed into town to find out what was going on just like her Uncle had, they were expected to converge there if ever anything unexpected occurred. They had to work together because there were so few of them. The shooting had been multiple weapons, not just the odd ones, so there had been a major battle going on. This meant an off world invasion, but who would want a small agricultural world in an uncontested part of space? It made no sense to Se-se, there was no logic to attacking her home, or at least no logic she could see. They had no money and there were so few precious minerals they were unlikely to be targeted by pirates, it was not as if they were in a strategic location either and with the number of regular military training exercises held in their forests they were so rarely undefended. This was one of the first times in months there was not a Naval transport in orbit. Was that too much of a coincidence? But it still did not explain why.

Then there was Uncle Joe, Se-se knew he could look after himself, he was ex-military it was how he and Tam had met, and he was well liked by the other colonists, but he had come back to the farm alone dying of his wounds. She let the tears roll down her cheeks as she thought it all through. Her Uncle had been so concerned about her, that people were coming for her and Aunt Tam had reacted in just the same way. They had both automatically considered her safety first and only, there had been no thought to the other colonists. Perhaps it was instinctive to protect your own, but surely the fact everyone was being attacked meant there was no special reason to protect any one person and certainly not her.

She was so tempted to turn round, to stand by her Aunt and face whoever had appeared, but her Uncle and Aunt set great store by following orders, something Castleman drummed into all the children as well. She would go to the camping spot, but she did not have to like it and she would not like all that time alone not knowing what was going on.

Chapter 2

Se-se was setting up camp when the early morning reports arrived in the Imperial Palace halls at the heart of the Empire of a disturbance on one of the outer colonies. There had been no contact for two days, which by itself was nothing to worry about and only a routine observation. They would have to be out of contact for at least two weeks before anyone would worry, it was no use jumping every time a transmitter broke down.

It should have been nothing to worry about but as a routine, as with all discrepancies regarding the colony worlds, it was added to the list of items that were told in the daily reports to the Emperor and Empress as they sat on their thrones at the start of the day. They liked to be told all the things that were going on in their Empire and whether important or inconsequential they took an interest.

“If we tell His Majesty this in the daily briefing we'll be sent to the Berrow Tower.” Sir Sanji was one of the Emperor's chief advisors and he routinely scanned through the reports first thing in the morning so he knew what his Emperor would want from him before he was asked. His prepared attitude kept him ahead of the game but now it was keeping him out of the feared Tower prison historically reserved for traitors and heretics.

“Flu isn't a reason to lose your head, we'll send out a contagion team and make sure it's got the best Doctors on it, the Emperor won't get too stressed about it.” General Jameson had only seen the first few lines of text. He had had a late night and was still nursing the morning tea that was his breakfast in this unexpected early meeting.

“There's already a vaccine on the way but that's not the problem, the problem is it's happened at exactly the same time as Jacob 6 has gone out of contact.”

“What?” Jameson was fully awake in an instant.

“It's being put down to a broken transmitter at the moment but the chances of that are quite slim.”

The other man at the table sat forward, his expression sombre. “Especially when we don't have anyone on exercise there at present.”

Jameson grabbed the small communication pad on his belt. “I want a priority link to Colonel Castleman, Jacob 6, right now.” he ordered.

“I've already tried.” Sanji shook his head. “They couldn't make a connection.”

“Could it be a coincidence? You know what these colonies are like, they'll strip a transmitter for parts if they need them for a harvest.” the other General tried for a slim chance, he did not want a crisis like that.

“Castleman would never let it happen. A breakdown maybe, but at the same time as a contagion outbreak on Abress? Are we sure it's flu?” As much as Jameson hated to ask the question it was important. Even as he asked he did not take his eyes off his communication pad and the flashing timer on the screen.

“That's the intelligence we have, it's being double checked but I won't have an answer for several hours.”

“We need a retrieval team sent out.” Jameson stopped himself swearing as his pad blinked up a message telling him the connection had failed. “Send them all out.”

“All of them?” General Boyse was all for not taking chances but he did not want an over reaction when they still did not know if there really was a problem. “But the others are-”

“If we don't react now and we lose one of them because of it I'll never be able to look the Emperor in the eye again. We have to act.”

“It will take the retrieval team a week to get to Jacob 6.” If Jameson was serious about it Boyse would go with it and let the more senior General take responsibility.

“A week?”

“We're completely unprepared and there is no one in that sector with the clearance to act as an impromptu retriever.”

“There has to be someone closer.” Jameson growled in his frustration. They had to get to the people on those planets as soon as humanly possible or suffer the very personal wrath of the Emperor. “I can't believe we've been suckered into being this unprepared, it's ridiculous.”

Sanji looked down at his datapad. He at least had been prepared but he was not going to admit to it. “There are some Marines on Jacob 8.”

“Ordinary marines? Can we trust them with something this important?” Boyse was not convinced it was a good idea.

“Can we afford not to?” Jameson was torn between getting the job done as quickly as possible and potentially compromising the highest security retrieval of them all. Only a handful of people knew which planets held their highest level VIPs and it had be kept that way. “Who's the OC?”

Sanji consulted his pad again. “The officer in charge is one Captain Chase.”

“Chase?” the name gained a frown. “Why do I recognise that?” Jameson was rapidly back on his pad and going through the personnel records. He should not have been able to access the records of the Marine Corps but anyone who had had anything to do with the Imperial Guards for any reason was kept in their own records and the name had to have caught his attention for some reason.

Sanji kept quiet. He knew the reason the name was familiar and it was precisely why he had hinted to the right person very quietly that while no one was on Jacob 6 training in the jungles of the other habitable planet in the system would be a perfect place for some marines to go on exercise. Being the Emperor's senior advisor was about more than just telling him what was happening, it was about knowing what was going to happen and dealing with it before the Emperor had to know. He may have missed that the VIPs were going to be placed at risk and that was a major failing, but he had not left them completely defenceless.

“Ah,” Jameson sat back. He had just got the answer, finding the personnel file almost immediately and it made him feel much better. “Send those marines. Get them planet side and do it immediately. And pray it's a false alarm.”

FraidyKat Runs - for mysteries

Cartwheeling on the Catastrophy curve

That's what it feels like right now. You keep on going because you don't dare stop in case you fall off.
I managed a week, just, without anything catastrophic happening and I was even daring to imagine a lazy weekend in unexpected but most welcome sunshine. Perhaps even the opportunity to revel in getting sunburn and overdosing on vitamin D. As if life would grant such a boon to this simple traveller.

Instead of the lovely rural setting I would gaze upon from home my views this weekend have been rather different.
Roadworks.
Why  would I forsake natural beauty for for man-made chaos?
The other unfortunate view I have partaken of - a hospital cardiology ward.
My Father, may he have a very speedy recovery, was rushed in by ambulance with suspected heart attack. Such is the nature of our wandering family that the journey to visit him was 150miles each way, including the so noted roadworks chaos.
It was of course a journey well worth making and another cartwheel along that curve of life.

What next?
For a little light relief can it be an alien invasion? At least that would be something we could all share.

Back to the shallower world of health and beauty, thanks to that miraculous disaster free week I am astoundingly 2kg lighter. The fasting routine works. I am still not brave enough to run again. I shall restart in another 4kg when perhaps my joints will be less prone to aches and pains from my excess baggage.

When did the nano gremlins get given pokers? And when did they migrate from muscles to joints? Perhaps they are a new subspecies. I wonder if they are as effective as zombie repellents as the common nano gremlin? I shall have to research this.

FraidyKat runs - on chaos
94.2

Story time - 1.0 Heir Hunt

WARNING: The following is not edited and there will be spelling and grammar mistakes. Sorry.
Please read forgivingly (and if you have the time corrections are welcomed).

There was a wide farm track cutting through the ancient and beautiful green forest, wide enough for the large harvesting machines to pass each other comfortably when bringing wheat into the barns in late summer. There were gulleys at each side to drain off the autumn downpours and space for the plough to push away the winter snows.

It was not snowing or raining and the sun was low in the sky over distant fields of wheat still green as spring fought to keep its grip while summer approached.

But there was something on the track and as it approached the farmstead it resolved itself to a someone. That someone was staggering, desperately trying to make the distance back to the farm.

Having heard the distant sound of gunfire as she walked out of the barn after completing her chores, Se-se ventured not back to the farmhouse but instead towards the track looking along its length towards town. She was only in her teens yet she knew the sound well, being a senior cadet and a well accomplished hunter she knew enough about weapons to shame many of her elders.

Seeing the man struggling to make his way towards her was a shock she never expected. Instinctively she broke into a run and was just in time to catch the blood soaked man as he dropped to the ground, wheezing and burbling unhealthily while trying to catch his breath.

She crouched by her much loved Uncle not knowing what to do. She had been taught enough first aid to know there was really nothing she could do to save him, but how could she do nothing for her own Uncle? It was a terrible thing to realise that any action she took was going to be futile and she was about to watch the strongest man she knew fade away where she held him. She could not help but try to stem the flow of blood from many wounds even as her Uncle weakly pushed her hands away.

“Tam!” Se-se shouted for her Aunt. She did not know if she would be heard, the kitchen was on the other side of the house and Auntie Tam loved to listen to music while she cooked. “Tam!”

“Don't, please. Just listen, Elisia,” he struggled to speak, he knew well it was his last chance. “People will be coming, looking for you, but you have to be careful not everyone is what you think,”

“What are you talking about?” Se-se could not understand why her Uncle was more concerned with talking to her than getting help for his injuries. “Tam! Help!”

“Shh, it’s important. You can trust Castleman and Babel squad, but don’t tell anyone your real name, use Se-se. When the right people come they’ll help you.”

“The right people? But how will I know who the right people are?” she did not understand what he was talking about but he never spoke idly.

“When they find out who you are, when you tell them your name, they will protect you with their lives, but the wrong people will kill you.”

“Why? Uncle, what are you- ”

“I, I can’t tell you, I swore an oath.

“But, I don't understand. What happened? Who shot you?”

“Something went wrong. Keep away from town.” he was fading fast. He had lost too much blood and there was not enough time to say the things he wanted to, the things he needed to. He had done everything he could, now it was up to others to finish what he had begun. “You've always made me proud. You'll be perfect.”

Se-se sat for some minutes at her Uncle’s side, long after his pained breathing had slowed and then halted. She had no idea why he had said what he did, or how it was that he stumbled down the farm track covered in blood from a dozen wounds.

Slowly, the sound of gunfire came back into her. The noise was that of slug throwers used by most of the colony and energy projectors, weapons reserved for the military and the most serious big game hunters. The noise was distant, it had to be coming from town, but it meant something had indeed gone very wrong. Se-se was smart enough to realise it was those ships that arrived so recently without warning and had sent her Uncle off to town that morning were the cause.

She reached down to close his eyes before walking stiffly down the last of the track and up the old wooden steps onto the veranda before finally getting into the house.

“Aunt Tam,” Se-se stood in the threshold of the kitchen.

“What is it, honey?” Tam had been busy making a pie and was oblivious to the sounds coming from outside. Then she saw the tears streaking Se-se’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Uncle Joe, he, he’s,”

Tam rushed to the door and the sight on the track left her rooted to the spot. Then she too heard the noise and it snapped her out of the trance. She ran, but not to Joe, she ran into the house and up the stairs yelling at Se-se to stay exactly where she was.

A minute later she returned with a combat vest, heavy with full pouches and an equally heavy back pack. She thrust them at Se-se. “Put this on.”

Too surprised to argue, Se-se did as she was told, then to have her Uncle’s prize pistol and favourite hunting rifle pushed at her.

“Go to the stables and saddle two horses. I'll be three minutes.”

“But-”

“I will meet you in the stables.” Tam was firm.

There was no option but to obey.

It was almost exactly three minutes before Tam followed Se-se and helped to finish saddling the two chosen mounts. She had acquired her own backpack and a fearsome array of weaponry and although it broke her heart she had forced herself to leave Joe so that she could protect her niece.

They were leaping into their saddles when Tam spoke again. “If anything goes wrong and we get split up ride through the forest to the mountains, don’t use any of the paths and head for our camping spot. If I’m not there by sundown in two days, don’t wait for me, just head on and hide in the forest.”

“I don’t understand. What’s happening?”

“I don’t know, but it doesn’t sound good. Don’t ask me to explain, there's a lot I can't tell you but I don't think this is a coincidence and if I'm right you're in real danger right now.”

“Why? Who do you think came in the ships?”

“If I knew that I'd know what to do next.” Tam was serious as she led them out of the stables.

They were nearly at the tree line when there was a sudden shot from far too close. It was a high powered energy weapon and the discharge scythed across their path.

Tam's response was almost instant. While Se-se was still staring in shock her Aunt raised her rifle and fired a burst of shots. “Move!” she snapped as she fired.

Se-se was still frozen but her horse at least was not so shy about escape and bolted for the trees.

There were more shots, shots returned by Tam as she followed Se-se in to the woods. She had hoped to get them away without leaving any obvious clues but that was no longer an option. They were being attacked by multiple assailants and it would be no easy thing to slip away from them.

Another series of shots whistled by and Se-se was aware of instinctively ducking to avoid them. She did not see her Aunt bend double and bite down a cry as she hung desperately on to the saddle.

Tam dared to look at the damage done to her only when they had found a ravine that would temporarily protect them and when she did she had to the fight the urge to close her eyes and cry. It was not an immediately fatal wound but Tam had seen and felt such injury before and it was almost certain that without professional treatment in the very near future there was little chance for her. At best she would now only slow her niece down as she slowly faded, at worst she could get her killed, but there was another option. She could act as a distraction and give her little girl a chance.

“Se-se,” she called out, getting as close as she could while keeping her wound hidden. “I'm going to draw them off. You go ahead, I'll see you at the camp site.”

“What? No, we need to look after each other.” The thought of being left on her own was even more frightening than being attacked.

“Please,” Tam was insistent. “Just keep out of people’s way. Don’t even trust the other colonists, except Castleman and Babel squad, I know they'll look after you. If things go wrong, if I don't get to you, people will come looking for you. If those people are carrying an Imperial Seal you tell them Delta Tango 7 9. Remember that, Delta Tango 7 9. Go.”

“Tam,” Se-se hesitated, her Aunt’s tone was final and determined, but full of grief.

“For me,” Tam reached out and gently took Se-se’s hand. “Go now, and go fast.”

Se-se found her eyes drawn down to her Aunt's waist. “No, no, Tam. I can't go, you need me. I can help you. I did that triage course last year and we've got a first aid kit and-”

Tam took a careful breath. “Wolf.”

“Don't do that.” It was an old order, one Se-se's Aunt and Uncle had not used for years, not since she was very young. Ever organised and aware that a farm could be a dangerous place for a small child, they had taught her from an early age that there were times when she needed to follow their direction without question or complaint. When they used the word Wolf it was their most serious order, Se-se was to do what she was told immediately. “Please, don't do that. Don't make me go.”

“Listen to me now, this could be the most important order I have ever given in my life. You have to go. Remember the code, use it if you have to. Don't take any risks. Get out of here, now.”

More shots far too close emphasised the point.

Terrified, Se-se was away in seconds and riding at hair rising speed through the forest on Charlie, the farm's fastest mare.

FraidyKat Runs - in another world

The dying art of conversation

It takes very little to convince a modern company not to talk to it's customers.
Emails, automated contact pages "type your query here", phone this number to type more digits than pi to the computer woman's command and wait 30 minutes to get to the option you want, then discover they can't answer you query because the computer says no.
I recently dealt with a courier company who simply cannot find my house and apparently don't give their couriers mobile phones even though they insist on having your phone number. The truly mystifying thing is that they don't even have a phone number to contact them on - their entire website is devoid of any contact details other than the generic fill in the blanks. Perfect to avoid speaking to angry customers who have not received their parcels.
Not that I'm bitter (okay, not much), but it seems to somehow be becoming taboo to actually talk to people.
So it was refreshing yesterday when I had a problem with a parcel delivery (I sent it but apparently it did not turn up at it's destination) to be able to call up and speak to a real person. In fact he was a very helpful real person who was able to find out everything I needed even though I didn't have all the information the computer demanded. He was even able to tell me the exact time (to the minute) the parcel was delivered and who signed for it, very useful when the receiver was denying ever seeing it. Thanks whoever you were real man on the phone at Collect+, it was good the be reminded how helpful people can be if you ask for help.


Now the buzz of exercise has worn off and I am looking forward to next week. I am only left with that vague reminder in my tired muscles telling me that wore them out on Monday night. I wish I could go more than once a week but sadly funds don't extend that far.
In the mean time it is wonderful to be able to touch my toes again, my back has been bullied into mobility.
My core muscles are still jelly. Every day I am having to steal moments to exercise them between the childcare duties and essential menial tasks that going with trying to live in the hurried and chaotic western world.


A quick observation of the house tells me that pixies my partner and children rely on so much have been on strike. They normally bribe the little creatures to work for them but I have never found out how they do it. For some reason pixies never work for me. Now if I were a pixie what would I accept as a bribe?


FraidyKat Runs - for Pixie bribes
Food day

Buzz!

Buzz!
Pure elation while coherent and fully legal, if not fully able, to drive. That's not something you experience every day and it's something I have not felt for too long (and it's not bedroom related activity by the way - it's not that sort of blog!).
So what has provided this completely legal high? Well, a clue is the accompaniment of burning jelly formerly known as muscle and a liberal sprinkling (okay a showering) of saline solution.
It's training night and we were on the pads for most of the session, punching and kicking. We had the keep our legs bent and as the lead instructor said "if your legs are burning you're probably doing it right".
I must have been doing it perfectly. Ouchy.

Anyway, buzz. That's when the burn gives way, you stop for a drink and despite the soul aching tiredness all you can do is smile.
That exercise high has taken me a few weeks to find but finally it is here and I hope to keep finding it on regular basis from now on.

FraidyKat runs - for the buzz
Food day

Whirlwinds & the futility of Planning

Relatives gather for the funeral to come.
I made a trip to the airport to play taxi to pick up some of the said relatives back early from their winter sun - with the endless chatting but sadly without the usual extortionate fee.
And the whirlwind descends.
Rarely seen family + small children = whirlwind of chaos + noise + the realisation that no house is big enough to contain a hyperactive toddler

I had been planning to be extra good this week. Plenty of wholesome exercise and sticking to the fasting days. Not a chance.
Only one fast completed - although it was the easiest fast day by far. It's amazing how quickly your body adjusts to the idea of extra lean days.
I don't dare weigh myself this week, I hate the sound of scales sniggering.
Assuming the next major catastrophy decides to give me a clear week before it arrives I will be really really good and maybe get my own back on the nasty judgemental scales.

Aches and pains abound in this damp weather, that alone should be enough motivation to lose this excess baggage. My old lighter self could move easier and did not creak with these tiny pixies attacking my joints with hammers whenever I had the gall to move swiftly or jump for something.
By the end of this year I will be slimmer and fitter than ever before. I will do this.

Bathing dinosaurs are so messy. They litter the place with their empty bottles of bubble bath, leave dirty footprints all over place and then make the place all wet when they get out. Now they have apparently switched the heating off too. Going out and locking up shop while we are still home. How inconsiderate.

FraidyKat Runs - for peace and quiet